


What if...

by mesiveloni



Series: Sleepless nights [4]
Category: Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Hurt, Jealousy, Language, Light Dom/sub, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Spoilers, Violence, long fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-17 04:56:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 44,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13069599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mesiveloni/pseuds/mesiveloni
Summary: If you read my Secrets, scratch chapters 11 and 12. They didn't happen. This is the alternative ending for Secrets.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story really took time. It lived somewhere in my mind for almost a year, dumped deep every now and then, and then resurfacing again.
> 
> Some parts just came out of nowhere, barely needing even editing as they were written down.
> 
> Hope you like it.

I realized that with each passing day it was becoming really unlikely that Noctis and the kingsguard would come back for me anymore. It really broke my heart, first bringing tears and then fury. I thought I had meant more to them. 

I had been used and tossed away, when I wasn't something perfect and what they wanted anymore. Their words had been just wind, promises empty. And it hadn't been just me in our affair or keeping secrets. It wasn't fair that I was cast aside alone, taking conveniently all the blame.

I was done. No more tears shed from my eyes, when it didn't bring them back, no more messages sent to the deaf ears begging that this could be sorted out. I had wallowed in depression, blaming myself, thinking endlessly what could and should have been done differently. I should have realized this wasn't my fault alone. I knew it, but my feelings still waged war against cold rationatility. 

To be honest, in the worst moments I wished I was dead, so I wouldn't have to deal with anything anymore. And yet, no matter how angry and bitter I was, I still couldn't bring myself to truly hate my king or kingsguard. I wouldn't raise my hand against them, but either I wouldn't be played like a fool again. And no favours would come easily, should I cross paths with them. 

In the end, I would find my own way again. Until I'd find someone worth giving my heart to, it would have to stay quiet and locked away. If I wouldn't love, then I'd rather chase my other dreams. At least I'd want to have my own home again, and it didn't necessarily have to be here in Lucis. It just seemed that at least for now reaching for things I wanted meant for selling my soul temporarily for the devil.

This particular devil was the master in his game, I realized that. He would try to use me, exploiting every possible weakness he could and I'd have to deal with it. However, as he would come to know me, I'd probably get to know him too. Maybe I'd find out something useful to get some leverage. If I didn't, undoubtedly my death wish would be granted if he wouldn't let me quit.

Perhaps in time I could make him want to help me. As long as he wanted something from me, I'd have at least small hold of him. Which was why sleeping with him was probably bad idea. He would be likely to get more out of it than me. I knew he wanted to seduce me, but I'd rather want to seduce his mind. Having just his body wouldn't be enough. And with him, I had a feeling that safewords would be likely necessary.

Shame. He certainly made something stir in me, whether it was simple chemistry or something else. It definitely wasn't his lovable character. As I'd thought before, he was sort of old, but he was still sexy as hell. I liked his hair, and unique style. He was certainly confident enough to pull anything off.

Perhaps that could be the inspiration for this evening. I searched the shops of Lestallum, until I found what I wanted. A pair of comfortable heels that I could run in, should the need arise. I also found a relatively simple-looking black dress, cut just right and decorated with a single strip of satin under the breasts. It almost reached my knees, and showed just right amount of cleavage, hugging my curves.

Ardyn might be a devil for a man, but he was still just a man. And I could certainly be devious by his side as I dressed to kill and unleashed the cold black beast from inside me.

Later in the evening I walked again to the hotel, and he was waiting for me, sitting relaxedly in the lounge. Seeing me step in he stood up, took a few steps forward in silence, raising my hand to his lips in a familiar greeting. "I hope you have good news for me. You'd break my heart if you'd walk away now, my dear."

"Ohhh, so there is a heart to break under that tough surface of yours. Don't make me empty promises," I teased him boldly, making him smile for a moment with me. "Let's see if we can reach an agreement, then. But first, let us go and dine," he replied, more serious now.

This time he surprised me, leading us to his luxurious suite. He was asking for me to decide our dinner and to order for us both whatever I liked. As we ate together, we were both becoming a little more relaxed with each other. Maybe because we both knew we'd somehow have to try meeting somewhere in the middle, or because both knew what to roughly expect from other. I'd have to get used to being in his quarters too, so I didn't make a fuss about it. 

He had made clearly mental notes last night, pouring me red wine instead of even asking now. He was quick to learn, being very perceptive. "What are you thinking," he asked as I watched him. "That you are terribly perceptive, reading people like open books," I told him honestly.

He shrugged. "I have to. It wasn't why I rose in the ranks of the empire, but it sure helped. And keeps me from being stabbed in the back." He watched me for a while. "You've been hurt bad. It's as if you're holding back a lot of things," he continued carefully, sensing my mood was very different than yesterday.

"Of course I am. Both hurting and keeping my deepest thoughts to myself. After all, it seems I was rather expendable. As I might be for you too, who knows," I told him, wondering how much of the situation he'd know through his spies. He shook his head. "I hope we can learn to trust in each other. As I said yesterday, we'll be spending lots of time together if you become my partner."

"Partner?" I just had to ask, raising my eyebrows. It certainly sounded intimate. "Well, technically you'd be my assistant, at least in the eyes of the empire. I'd like to think of you as more equal, sharing my burdens like a companion," he explained smiling. I was just getting started with my questions. "What if we cross paths with my... ex-comrades?" 

"The official course would be to have them killed, of course. I think its rather short-sighted and not serving the best purposes if the empire wanted the full control of Lucis. Personally, I have a different approach, as you remember when I pulled you out of pouring lava and stone after fighting the Archaean Titan." He explained, returning to the moment when he had revealed his identity to us.

First thing I remembered about that was how Gladio had practically thrown me on board of the vessel right after Noct. And yes, Ardyn had been the one to offer his hand in the moment and help me up. Escaping from tight situation had taken more of my concentration then than closer study of high chancellor, even if his announcement of his identity had been a shock.

There was another time too, when he had intervened. "You stopped Ravus too, when we came for Regalia." He took a sip from his glass before replying. "Yes. He has... personal grudges. And a temper. It could've ended quite badly, not just for Noctis. But I'd rather talk about something else."

"What's on your mind then?" I looked at him, wearing dark graphite-grey shirt tonight and tight leather pants. If I knew how to dress to tease, he seemed to guess as well what made my knees a bit weaker. "I'd like to know why exactly would you agree to work with me," he asked, studying carefully my expressions.

"I have been on a lookout for work for several days already, finding nothing. As you might know," I added, not being surprised even if he had a hand in it. "My father died when Imsomnia fell under the imperial attack. I lost him, my only family. My old home is no more, and thank goodness my bank account still exists and was not restricted just to Imsomnia."

I knew I drove a hard bargain, but I had to try. At least he was still listening. In fact, he seemed really intense and I had to drown my nervousness. To hell with this. "So why would I work for you? I despise the empire. It took everything I ever wanted. But I want back whatever I can from my old life, even if I can't bring back my dad. I want to have a home again. 

I have terms if I will work for you. Prince Noctis and his companions will not be harmed. And you will let me leave whenever I want to, should the need arise. In return I promise to keep your secrets, or you can kill me."

"That is quite a promise. And what if it becomes a too heavy burden for you to carry, hmmm?" His eyes flashed dangerously and I knew he wasn't playing. "Then you know what to do," I raised my chin in defiance. "Right, as an act of trust, I will put it to the test immediately." He grinned coldly. "Let us go for a little drive."

He drove us out of the town, just far enough that we were out of bright lights and close to the wilds. He walked us slightly further into the darkness, following the road, leading the way and holding my hand until stopping. Then he let go. "Watch and learn," Ardyn told me, staying alert at our surroundings.

I watched the ground boil and churn with dark magic, as a daemon pushed its way up to the surface. Iron giant. In a moment it could fully concentrate in us and begin its attack. Ardyn remained still, ever so calm while I was getting more nervous. He waved his hand, as if beckoning the formidable creature closer and the giant began to squirm and shake. It shrank, a wave of darkness rising and as if pulled by a magnet, flashed into Ardyn. 

The iron giant was gone, and a shivering naked man was left behind. As he got up, I saw the madness in his eyes. In a second he targeted us and I begged him to stop. He didn't even seem to listen. When it was obvious he wouldn't and he'd really attack us, I stepped forward and instinctively prepared to defend us. 

In his blind rage, he was easy target, not even realizing he was wide open for my counterattacks. He reached for me first, and I cast his groping hands effortlessly aside, slamming him hard in his ribcage. In a few more swift moves he was down again, incapacitated, and I stopped, hesitating. Ardyn flashed past me, raising his hands to break the man's neck and after sickening crunch, everything was over. 

"Was that really necessary," I had to ask, feeling sad, even if I guessed the answer. This had been a miracle, daemon turning back to human, and still it had cost his life. It felt all different, to see a person die than a daemon. Even if he had been a person again for seconds. Or had he?

"He has been too long in the darkness. It cost him his sanity. Who knows how long he's been like this? Ten, fifty, maybe hundred years? He doesn't remember anything about himself or humanity anymore. All there is, is just pure hatred towards creatures like us," Ardyn explained quietly as the body began to disappear.

"Shall we," he said, turning back to the direction of his car. "Your heart is quite gentle, not finishing him but seeing if he would come back to his senses." He wasn't sad or sorry for the stranger, but his eyes had a very thoughtful look.

"So does this mean I fail or pass your test as a bodyguard?" I asked, following just a step behind him. He laughed, shaking his head. "I don't know yet," he said. I thought I heard him muttering under his breath something like "wonder what you'd do to me", but then again I wasn't quite sure if I'd heard right.

When we returned to his suite, my heart was still pounding harder than usual and my thoughts were back on the happening on the dark road. "How could you turn him back to human?" I wondered, turning to him. 

"That is one of my handy little secrets that you will likely find out in due time. There is plenty of them," he said lightly, as if it would console me and once again bore his gaze into me. "Wouldn't you like to know what I'd like to offer you?" Not really trusting my voice now, I nodded to him. 

"I planned originally to pay you fifty thousand gil for a month, arranging your living, sometimes sharing my quarters should the need arise, you get two days off a week. We might need to work on your wardrobe to make it more suitable for the needs. Especially the fighting gear. Not that I don't enjoy watching you prepare to fight an iron giant in a sexy dress and heels, but it might bring a lot of problems for me later," he winked at me, and I was still trying to process everything what he had said.

He turned to pour us glasses of wine, offering the other one to me, and raising his own. "Do we have a deal," he inquired. I returned back to this world, and raised my glass to touch his carefully. "Yes, boss," I said tentatively. And of course he hurried to correct me, smooth voice sounding like silk and hiding admonishment. "Oh darling, I'd rather hear you calling me by my first name."

"Yes, of course... Ardyn," I whispered, and hearing his name clearly gave him pleasure as I received one of those smiles of his, that made me feel like an antilope watched by a lion. "You've made me very happy, my dear. It is so late, that you shouldn't walk alone to your flat anymore. I took the freedom to reserve you a room across mine. Tomorrow morning your belongings will arrive, and we may begin our work together straight away."

As I finished my glass, he got up in high spirits, gave me a key card to the opposite room and kissed my cheek, wishing good night. I went into my room, and shut the door, leaning my back to it for a good while.

Even when I knew it would be like this, I wondered if this would be worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up in the morning to a knock, wrapping myself into a bathrobe. Opening the door, I saw an elderly couple. Delivering my scarce things, I realized as they matter-of-factly passed me all my bags. "Everything is here, and the apartment has been cleaned. Maybe we could have the keys, so we can return them to the landlord and finish our work?"

Stunned, I groped my handbag for the keys, passing them forward to the patiently waiting woman and then reaching for my wallet. "No need, our pay has been already settled. You have a nice day, miss," the man said and they both turned to leave.

I shut the door and studied my bags. Everything really was here, to the last item. Ardyn had been really efficient organizing this and executing the plan to the last detail. This was what he surely expected from me too. And I should probably go to see him as fast as possible, now.

I got dressed and put my make-up carefully on, washed my teeth and packed up just in case we'd happen to leave. Soon I was ready and knocked on his door. He opened up with a smile. He had been expecting me, letting me in. "Good morning, dear. I trust you got your belongings all right?"

"Good morning, Ardyn. I did, thank you very much," I nodded to him, as he was closing the door behind me. "Where would you like me to start today?" He took in my outfit, as I wore simple capris and a snug t-shirt, smiling slightly as if thinking of something funny.

"As it happens, I was planning that we'd freshen up your wardrobe, as I mentioned yesterday. You could take a look at the sketches, while we eat breakfast and before the tailors will arrive," he told me casually. "Sketches?" I asked. He scooped a large booklet from the nearby table and gave it to me. 

I opened it, and page after page I saw different kinds of sketches of clothes on a body reminding very much mine in shape. There were at least five drawings of armour fit for combat, and then several outfits balancing between formal and relaxed. They were even some evening gowns. Everything looked splendid.

"This is..." I tried to find the right words, sinking to the sofa. Too much? Outrageous? Wonderful? Extreme? When had he had time to get these ordered? He had certainly taken notes of my style. I had seen finer clothes only at King Regis's court and these would cost a fortune. 

He laughed huskily at my reaction and inspected the sketch I was just looking at. "I will make sure you will get the best. This is just the beginning. I am the high chancellor after all, and nobody will look down on you as you walk by my side. Now tell me, which ones do you like? While we eat, please," he took the sketchbook, pulled me up and led me to the ready table with breakfast.

I poured us both orange juice, and he poured himself coffee. "I didn't know what you'd prefer, so I took a bit of everything." I told him I was fine with anything, not being picky eater. He however noticed my reaching for tea. "Not coffee?" He inquired. "I like the taste better," I shrugged.

When we finished, there was already a knock on the door. I hurried to open and Ardyn was right behind me. There was a pair of tailors with their assistant. "You're early," Ardyn said, with slight annoyance in his voice. 

"Our apologies," they answered, bowing very deep for him. "They will confirm your measures, and some outfits are ready for the first fitting. You may use my bedroom as a changing room," Ardyn said to me.

"Shall we go then," I beckoned to the nervous group, smiling. I turned to walk to Ardyn's bedroom, and they followed me gratefully. I wondered what he had told them, when they were even more nervous than me. As they instructed, I stripped to my underwear and soon they were working busily with their measuring tapes.

I knew that Ardyn would want to see the fitting of the first outfits, so when I had the first garment on, I went to show him. He was working on a laptop, but seemed pleased as I came to turn around in front of him. The dress I'd worn yesterday was nothing compared to this one. "Do you approve? Is this good enough?" I asked him.

My outfit was a daring deep red dress, adorned with gold and violet, and so short that I'd have to sit down very carefully. It had attachable tight sleeves, leaving my shoulders sensually bare. Deep red boots and pale decorated stockings belonged in the set too.

The tailor came after me, attaching a violet sash loosely on my hips and a matching violet cape on my shoulders. "It's beautiful on you, dear. Even better than I thought," Ardyn said, his voice sounding a little stifled. The tailor seemed relieved and left us quickly. 

"We didn't have time to choose you a fighting gear. Which one did you like? He asked me huskily. "The one made of leather, all black decorated with silver and worn with the white long leather jacket. Does it have to be white, really?" I asked him. 

"For now, at least. Can't have you in all Lucian black anymore," he said and it kind of made sense. "Now go, there's plenty of clothes you need to try on. And try to be positive about wearing white now, it's not so bad on you," he teased me.

He didn't joke about trying things on. This was taking all day, and after small fixes fitted clothes were taken outside to be finished. We took a break only for a brief late lunch and continued again soon after. I had never thought dressing, stripping and standing still while adjustments were made could be this exhausting.

I got several pairs of new shoes and underwear too. Big flowy scarves. Belts. Two designer handbags. Things already piled up on chancellors bed and more kept pouring in.

Still, getting to try on my fighting gear was absolutely the best thing. I had black leather trousers, black corset, black greaves adorned with plenty of silvery patterns reaching my mid-thigh. Everything was reinforced in strategic places. And the white jacket, fitting nicely. Every detail, every decoration was in place in them. And if I wanted to, I could wear a long-sleeved shirt under the corset.

The decorations actually reminded me of something. As I studied them, I realized they resembled patterns very closely from Ardyn's own thick coat. I wondered if they were meant to remind me or others of my position. However, they were very beautiful and the way everything fit and looked, they must cost fortunes.

As I went to show this one for Ardyn too, he got up, leading me to a mirror. He was right behind me, raising his hands to my neck. "This should go with it," he said and put on a heavy silver choker on me.

It was big and showy, thick modern thorns loosely woven together in an intricate pattern. It really did finish the look. He stayed close behind me and we both looked into the mirror in thoughtful silence for a long while.

I made up my mind, turned around, raising my hands around his neck and hugged him. He froze in surprise for a moment before answering carefully in kind. "Thank you, Ardyn. For making me feel like a new person and showing it's not all bad after all," I whispered in his ear, my lips slightly brushing against his stubble.

Being so close to him felt suddenly intoxicating, as if there was energy in our touch. I backed off and realized he had lost the script for a moment too. He just nodded, but something warm glinted in his amber eyes before he turned away and pointedly returned to his work on the laptop.

When the group finally left, promising most of the things tried today would be ready by noon tomorrow, I understood how many people were really working on this. And I suspected that Ardyn was behind most of the designs if not on all of them.

I wondered if the man slept at all. There was just this feeling bothering me. How much time ahead had he drawn all these designs in order for them to be half-ready to try on me today?

I went to Ardyn as he was just about to shut down his laptop and to get up. "You will be free for the rest of the evening. Have your evening meal as you please, I have some business to conduct. Be prepared tomorrow noon, you will practise your fighting skills with Ravus," he told me drily.

"With Ravus Nox Fleuret? He is the high commander of the imperial army! I'm sure he has..." He cut me short in mid-sentence. "He is in the schedule, so use the given time well. I have to go now, have a nice evening," he said and turned to leave, having already his coat on.

He was gone, and I was alone in his suite. I wondered what to do, him leaving so suddenly had been unexpected. The suite felt empty without him, so I went back to my own room. I ended up pacing around restless, so I decided to walk to marketplace to eat something in the café and then return here to watch something from tv.

As I was coming back from marketplace, I spied someone familiar-looking ahead of me. Prompto! Walking alone, in here. My first instinct was to yell his name and run to him, but then I changed my mind. 

As if feeling my presence, he slowed down and stopped. I just had time to duck in the cramped space between the buildings before he turned to look behind. Seeing nothing, he continued his way ahead.

I shadowed him to the hotel, and waited for few minutes as he walked in. When he didn't emerge, I snuck to my own room through the quiet lobby. I guess he was staying here then, probably not alone. 

I went to bathroom to shower and wash my teeth, and I couldn't stop thinking that I missed Prompto. He was a kind person. At least used to be before leaving me.

I slipped into the bed, turning on the tv and having the sounds pretty quiet. In some point I fell asleep despite all the thoughts running restless in my head.

I woke up later, and the tv was still on. I had seen a really confusing dream, where Ardyn, Ravus and Prompto were all strangely mixed in. I shut it down and tried to fall asleep again, and not to think about anything. 

Instead I found myself wondering if Ardyn had come back. He was surely just fine, I couldn't just go and check even if I wanted to. Even though he had given me another key card to his room. Resisting the idea just to go to take a peek, I once again tried to turn my mind to other things. Maybe if...

I turned to my stomach and my finger slithered inside my panties. I closed my eyes, thinking it had been a good while since I'd done this on my own. 

As I pleasured myself, I remembered how it had felt like, feeling the lust with the kingsguard. There wasn't a place where their lips hadn't been. 

Soon my favourite memories triggered the familiar explosion in me, and in a minute the feeling of satisfaction and relaxation lulled me back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up in the morning, enjoying the feel of soft sheets around me. I was finally getting used to sleeping alone again and having plenty of space on my own. Although my heart still felt a sting, as I thought of possibility of Noct and the kingsguard sleeping in the next room.

Banishing them from my head, I went to the gym to have a light workout. If I was to spar with Ravus, I'd better be prepared. Afterwards I ordered breakfast to my room, not willing to take chances to run into certain someones.

It was late morning when my door was knocked, and there was another one of the tailors and the assistant. They were presenting me four huge bags, filled with clothes. I thanked them kindly, received truly heartfelt smiles in return, and hastily began to change when they were gone. 

I pulled on the full gear, trying to get used to it. It felt light despite the reinforced elements hidden inside it, and it allowed me to move well. As I looked into the mirror, I admired again every little detail and silver decorations in the outfit and the choker.

Without the coat, it was much more daring and provocative compared to my old kingsguard gear. I pulled on my old long fighting gloves and the whole look fit nicely together. Perhaps it was strange, but I wanted something to feel familiar still. Luckily gloves were black leather too.

I grabbed the white jacket, went to Ardyn's door and knocked before using the card to open the door. He was in, having a conversation with scowling Ravus. They both turned to me, interrupted. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb." I blushed, apologizing. 

"Come on in. My dear, Ravus Nox Fleuret, the high commander of the empire. Although I believe you remember quite well meeting him earlier," Ardyn explained, smiling devilishly.

I removed my gloves, offered my hand and Ravus shook it reluctantly, scanning me up and down. "You look quite different than before. His influence, I presume?" His grip was tight, and his different-coloured eyes were haunting. "I prefer her working for me in a fresh look," Ardyn replied in my stead. 

As Ravus let go, he said politely he was looking forward to see if I presented any resistance at all, before he'd strike me down like he had done with Gladiolus. He turned back to talk to Ardyn about the troops as if nothing had happened. I hated to admit it, but his scaring tactics worked. 

So, guarding my expressions carefully, I sat down next to Ravus on the sofa and just concentrated to listen their conversation. As I crossed my feet, I caught Ardyn flashing a secret smile at me, amber eyes twinkling. He clearly liked my approach, as Ravus tried very hard to forget my presence for now.

After an hour, Ravus checked the time and turned to me. "I believe we have an appointment. Shall we go," he said, getting up. I went with him, and outside he led me to a blue sportscar parked in front of the hotel. 

He drove us to the nearest dry crater, where a bunch of magitek soldiers were waiting in guard, steadily circling the crater. At least they didn't attack me. Yet.

As I passed one seemingly inanimate part-mechanical soldier, I listened to its low whir. "They still give me the creeps," I murmured aloud and to my surprise, Ravus chuckled. I turned to look at him, shocked at his response.

"Talking about creeps, I don't know how you can tolerate that monster of a man daily," he said to me. "Well, um..." I didn't know what to say. 

"Unless he has been playing snakecharmer and you already love him. Why else would you leave your precious king," his tone sounded bitter, apparently turning the talk from things loathed to something even more disgusting.

I didn't know what exactly he was trying to imply between the lines, but I decided to try the truth, although very carefully worded. "I didn't leave. I was left. There was hidden feelings on my part towards... kingsguard, and it wasn't approved, so I got the boot. I'm just trying to survive long enough and then leave."

We were in the middle of bowl-like crater now and Ravus turned to me, silvery hair moving with the gust of wind, scowl disappearing. "Sorry. I already presumed he had corrupted you. He is rotten to the core, you know. But we are here to train. At least I can help you with that. Attack me, and show me what you got."

Not waiting for anything more, I lashed at him. He was quick, parrying almost my every blow as I danced around him, trying to exploit his weakness as my feet and fists were whirling in the attempts to hit him hard and fast. He beckoned me to stop after a moment.

"Fine. Let me see your defence as well. MT 1 and 2, attack her!" Ravus's voice boomed, and two sword-wielding magitek soldiers awoke with an intent to kill me, approaching running. I hurried to meet closer one in the halfway, before they both would be on me.

I spinned aside to avoid its straight lunge with a sword, pulling its weaponed hand hard forward to make it lose balance and hitting it to drop the sword. I barely had time to kick it down and shove the sword forcefully through its ugly green face before the other one was on me.

I repeated the process with the other one, the ending result being pretty much the same. My instinct warned me, and this time I was the one just trying to avoid and parry blows as Ravus himself was attacking. 

His strength and speed surpassed easily even Gladios and by now, I was really sweating. He effortlessly increased speed of his blows and before long, I royally missed one parry and I hit the ground really hard.

As I fought now just to recover my breath and stay conscious, he pushed an hi-elixir in my hand and helped me to crush it in my clutch. I felt immediately better, drawing several times a breath in and out without excruating pain and being happy just about that. 

As he inquired how was I feeling, I told him I missed using magic. He laughed for the first time and offered his hand to pull me up. "An easy way to bust everything up? Not on my watch."

"I don't care, as long as I get what I need, should it be busted up," and I nodded towards the ruined magitek soldiers, seeking Ravus's gaze.

He challenged me. "Those are your very own boss's and Verstael's creations, by the way. How does it feel?" He still insisted to know, eyes narrowing. "I don't know. How does it feel to use them," I asked back with a challenge. 

Personally, I didn't think there was enough human in them to feel or think anything real, being just mindless puppets. I did however, feel sorry for the person they could have become before being tainted and used.

Mindless puppets... I didn't think that was what Ardyn really hoped or wanted me to be. But what did he want?

"Enough. Again," Ravus ordered harshly, and my mind returned back to fighting and defending from his attacks.

I felt half-dead when we returned to Lestallum and Leville. Right now I hated the rustic stairs leading up. I kind of hated Ravus too, at least in a very temporary sense. I must have had at least five elixirs. 

Before we went to the Ardyn's suite, Ravus gave me a smile of co-conspirator before slipping on the usual fed up look for Ardyn. He pushed into my hand one more hi-elixir, saying it was for tomorrow and when the door opened, began to complain for Ardyn.

As I showered and tried to soothe my sore muscles under warm water, I heard a text arrive in my phone. I wondered absently, what kind of game Ardyn and Ravus were playing with each other. I tried to finish up quickly so I could read the text.

"Ravus stays for evening dinner with us. Please wear the red dress, my dear." Uhhuh. Now what did I just think about them playing. I decided to indulge him this time though, and dried my hair, leaving them flowing open. I checked my make-up, corrected it carefully and added a bit more for effect.

Soon I was ready, walking in again at Ardyn's suite. I had even put the boots on just to finish the look, even if normally I didn't like to wear shoes inside. My entrance made Ravus blink and Ardyn looked rather smug. 

"Shall we have glasses of wine, perhaps?" I suggested, cursing and swearing in my mind. What kind of hot water are you landing me in now, chancellor, I wondered. 

Apparently Ravus didn't fall into a gaping trap, since he stayed civil but rather cold during the meal. Ardyn followed in kind and stuck to the business as well. 

As Ravus left, he reminded me that we would spar together next week as well, before nodding me goodbye. Ardyn received a stiff bow and then he was gone.

"Now, my dear, how was your day," Ardyn asked all innocently. "Don't you dare ask how was my day. Why do you torture him," I asked angrily, showing my emotions openly now. Look on his face changed immediately. 

"Because he thinks he is superior over me, just because he used to be a prince of Tenebrae! And because he despises the magitek arm I gave him, although he wouldn't even have an arm left without me! I loathe his petty lies, when I see he doesn't dislike you as much at all as he pretends to!" Ardyn's voice rose the further he got and his eyes flamed in anger.

"Fine! Do what you want. Just leave me out of it!" I turned and left to my own room, not looking behind. As I shut my door and my temper came down, I thought I shouldn't have left like that. This was just my third day with him. I should at least try to understand him better. 

A little part of me reminded how controlling and manipulating he could be, still thinking he needed to know where the lines went. And then again, I had been in on it too. I had been vain, secretly enjoying both of their admiration. A little part of me had been replacing the feelings that I had felt when I had been in the kingsguard. My poor self-esteem yearned for attention, because I had been abandoned.

Tears rose in my eyes, as I got up to go and apologize to him. As I opened my door, he was there, hand raised to knock. His face was full of surprise, seeing me on the verge of crying and opening the door so suddenly. "Come in," I managed to say before the first tears fell. I hung myself to his neck and he shut the door behind us. After that he stood there, holding me for a long while, until I calmed down.

"I guess this isn't just about my yelling," Ardyn said. "No. I'm sorry," I replied. "Don't be," he said surprisingly kindly, still stroking my back. We sat down side by side on the edge of my bed. I felt suddenly a loss of words, not knowing what to say. 

"Why don't you go and change to your pajamas," Ardyn suggested. It was kind of him to think of my comfort, and I didn't dare to tell him I actually slept quite often just in my underwear.

So I dove into my old bags, finding a loose t-shirt and leggings, and went to change into them. For a moment something about this felt like old times with kingsguard and I was ready to cry again. 

He was still sitting there on my bed, as I came out of bathroom and I laid down. After a moment of hesitating, he did the same. For a long time we just were there together.

I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up next time, lights were off, Ardyn was gone and I had a blanket sprawled on me.


	4. Chapter 4

I told myself again and again I didn't want to begin to like him. But even if he was demanding and sometimes impossible, I started to see some good sides in him. He was having every now and then those moments when he wasn't calculating everything and allowed himself to lose control. He was magnetic, either pushing away or pulling towards him.

One evening he was restless and upset. He had been working all day, and then he was talking in the phone with Verstael and the emperor. When he was done, he paced around, clearly disagreeing and in a very bad mood. "Idiots," he hissed to himself. "Can you tell me about it?" I asked carefully. "No," he barked back, not even turning to see me.

"Do you need privacy?" I asked him again. "No," he replied, a little less angrily. "Can you do anything about it then?" I tried one more time. "No," he told, sounding tired and powerless this time, turning to me. 

He slumped in the nearest chair, tiredly rubbing his face with his hands. He sighed, letting his hands drop, having this look that gears were still turning tirelessly in his mind, still trying to find a solution to his problem.

I went to him, and his eyes followed my approach. As I circled around him, I raised my hand on his shoulder. "What if you took a little break," I whispered and slid my fingers on his tense muscles. For a moment he seemed to want to jump away, then he settled still. 

As I massaged him, he began to let go and relax slowly. I kept kneading his muscles, determined to find every tight one in his shoulders and upper back, and with time the tension was leaving. I kept coaxing them to loosen up, until I could feel them warm up and finally relax. 

I liked feeling him, even through the shirt and I found myself wondering what would he look like without it, my hands sliding over his slightly tanned skin. Would it feel as soft as it looked? I raised my fingers to his neck, curious to find out and rubbing my thumbs deep into the tight muscles where the skull and the spine joined. I loved the way I got to brush his wild maroon hair, and I realized I had wanted to sink my fingers in them too.

My mind snapped back as he sighed with pleasure. "We might have to make this a daily thing," he rumbled, eyes closed. "If you want to," I said. "How can such a small hands feel that good," he sounded hoarse and content as I let my hands slowly stop and rest on his shoulders for a while. 

I tried to swallow the thought that I could do so much more to him, as I spied his front and the slight bulge in his pants. "Oh, anyone can learn this. I just have good instinct where to find the tension," I slipped before I thought what I had said. Good thing he didn't seem to notice, feeling still a bit high from the massage.

I went to fetch him a huge glass of cold water. I hadn't heard him coming after me, and he stood there right behind me as I turned back, and I yelped, almost spilling out of scare. "You're too quiet, I didn't hear you there. You almost got this on yourself," I admonished him and he laughed, amused by my surprise. I passed him the glass, and he drank obediently, amber eyes glinting.

"Thank you for the massage. I really hope we can make this a regular thing. An evening routine, perhaps," he said huskily, still very close to me. As his glass was empty now, I reached my hand for it and he gave it to me to put away.

He reached for wineglasses right past me, his other hand taking casually support from my lower back, and I thought my breath would hitch when he was so close. "Wanna watch a movie with me? With a drink?" He asked invitingly. 

"Sure," I told him and he poured us full glasses. He gave me a glass and went to put the tv on. I switched off the lights and followed him to a sofa, sat to the other end and curled into a comfortable position. We settled together to watch an old movie.

I stole a glimpse at him later, and it was nice to see him so relaxed and in better mood now, feet raised up on a stool, concentrating in the film with his glass close by, and taking a sip every now and then. And of course he noticed and asked me smirking, "What?" 

"Just happy to see you relaxed," I told him honestly. "You too," he said with a hint of a smile, and turned back to the movie. Later I left to my own room, planning to do my evening routines. He still had been in the good mood and kissed my cheek, wishing me good night, before letting me go.

Eventually I got to the bed, feeling the insisting twinge under my navel. I sighed and gave in to the feeling, sprawling under the sheets. 

I fantasized about seducing him, how he would feel naked against my skin, how he would touch me all around. I imagined the way he would feel as he pushed inside me, fill me over and over again, as my fingers frantically slid in and out my center, rubbing my nub. I moaned and writhed as I came, his image in my mind.

Afterwards I relaxed, but my mind was now more troubled. I wasn't supposed to fall for this guy. He was the worst choice possible out of practically anything. And yet, in some moments he made me feel all alive again. 

I was an idiot. Part of me wanted to leave, but he made me want to stay even more. He had his hold on me now. Ravus had been right. He was a snakecharmer, bending my will slowly into his.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm sorry that this is coming on such a short notice, but we have to travel to Gralea at least for few days. We will leave as soon as possible. However, there are few things we should discuss before we leave." Ardyn informed me as soon as I stepped into his suite.

"I need to be sure you can handle the trip and know at least a bit what is expecting us. If we go, there's no turning back and I will expect full commitment from you. My secrets really do kill, and if you should spill any, I will not hesitate to take you down, even if I would feel sorry for it," Ardyn said seriously, sitting down opposite me now, carefully studying at my expressions.

"You do know that I can absorb the daemonic energy. A more or less confused human is left behind. I haven't seen anyone in the world capable of same ability, except the oracles and even their healing abilities are very different. I have studied daemons for very long time. My laboratories are gruesome places, and very restricted. Sometimes I do deal even with corpses. Do you feel any conflict with this?" He bore his eyes to mine and I remembered how he had snapped madman's neck and the sound of it. The snap gave me still creeps.

"Another burning question is this. How do you really feel about working for the empire? If the need should arise, could I still trust in you? Would you still swear to keep this between us?"

Now I really began to worry. He was being so careful and yet... I had a feeling he wanted to tell me something important, not wanting to and still needing to, both in the same time.

"I promised I would keep your secrets. Either staying quiet about them or by cost of my life. You knew my terms when I agreed to work for you, and if we stick to that agreement, I promise to keep my end of it," I told him, wishing I understood him better.

"Fine. We will leave as soon as possible and travel by flying. For now, you will share quarters with me for your own safety. Everybody do not approve of my Lucian assistant. Pack only two bags, and wear your gear for the trip. You may leave everything else here, things will be waiting as we come back." He seemed satisfied enough by my answer and I hurried back to my room.

In just mere moments I was walking briskly with him to his car, and he drove as fast as he could to the closest imperial base. A huge airship was waiting there, and as soon as we were in, it took off.

Ardyn lead me to the small cabin with a bed, and we left our bags there. "You can come with me or stay here. Either way, I will come here too, sooner or later to rest," he said. I felt curious about this flying fortress, so I opted to go with him.

As he walked the maze-like corridors, Ardyn seemed to know every corner. Soon we were at the cockpit, inquiring how fast we would be at the Gralea and Zegnautus Keep. Apparently satisfied, he introduced me to the captain in charge of the ship. I received only a stiff nod, but I didn't care.

Soon I was drifting to the closest window, leaving men to their conversation, rather seeing the land blurring under us in this speed. Ravatogh was already in view, seeming both big and small from my angle.

"This land is beautiful," I heard Ardyn say over my shoulder. I hadn't heard him approaching this time either. He stayed to watch the view with me, until we arrived to the edge of the deep blue sea, seeming to spread over rest of the planet. "Let us go and rest while we still can. Our journey is long despite our transport." He took my hand and lead us back to the small room.

He laid down on the narrow bed, leaving me space by his side as much as he could. "I won't bite," he promised huskily and grinned wolfily. As I laid down next to him, he covered me and partially himself with his coat. It was cool in here, and the jacket felt warm, being much thicker than mine. "What's with the hurry?" I asked him.

Ardyn practically growled. "Something very dangerous has gotten loose in my labs. Somebody has been very careless and I will love to have their bloody heads on a spike, if it threatens my research a slightest bit. I will find out and deal with this as fast as possible."

Ardyn's mood changed and he grinned to me. "Which reminds me. Ravus said you yearned to use magic and, how did he put it again, 'that she didn't care how to bust things apart, as long as they would bust apart.' Something like that." My blush began to creep up in my face and that amused him even more.

"My dear, hearing that from him was pretty much priceless. And I like the attitude, even if the point was to hone your physical fighting skills with Ravus." He was getting serious again, studying my face. "Would you really like to use magic again?"

"I was good at it. And it really was satisfying, to be able to take down huge enemies or a whole bunch of them in seconds," I explained as Ardyn still watched my expressions carefully.

"If you really wanted to, I could perhaps help with the matter. From what I've heard, you know how to prepare the magic flasks," he offered. "Yeah, but I can't channel the energy in them, so having just the flasks wouldn't help," I still argued back.

"Believe me dear, I can help even with that, if you just want to. It would just have to be our secret, not to be leaked out for anyone, and I mean anyone," Ardyn said mysteriously.

"I want you to be safe, and this would be my way to ensure it. You would use magic, but only with the intent to kill and as the very last resort." His eyes were serious. "Fine. As my last line of defence," I agreed and he seemed relieved.

"So be it. I'll arrange you everything you need for the flasks at Gralea. The energy will come later when we get to it." He nodded in agreement. "Now, rest up, my dear. While we still can."

He smiled at me and closed his eyes, attempting to fall asleep. I followed in kind and soon lost myself in dreams.

When we arrived in Zegnautus Keep, and I saw Ardyn's private apartment, my jaw dropped. It was huge and so luxurious my head was spinning. The suite in Lestallum had been a hole compared to this place.

Just the bathroom was a size of the ordinary room, containing both jacuzzi and a walk-in shower. And the bedroom... It had a separate bathroom, a small room for clothes and the actual bed was huge.

The whole apartment had been planned to represent power, and fit for a king. A lonely one, though, since it was designed for entertaining temporary guests but otherwise clearly meant to be occupied alone. And everything here bore a distinctive feel, as if Ardyn personally had selected each item very carefully.

He wouldn't show it of course, as he had dropped his bags on the floor the moment we got in. "Take a look around and make yourself at home. I will go to the labs immediately. Until I return, I hope you will stay here. Do whatever you like, but wait for me." And just like that, he turned and left.

It had been hours now, and he was still gone. I had seen the whole place now, taken care of our laundry and prepped a small snack for evening. At least somebody had known of our arrival and brought some fresh supplies to his fridge.

I had even arranged the contents from our bags to his walk-in wardrobe, making a little space for myself and hoping he wouldn't be upset about it since everything here seemed to be in pristine and very precise order.

To my surprise, I genuinelly worried about Ardyn's well-being. I would have liked to text to Ravus, just to see if he knew anything, but after today's speech I suspected Ardyn wouldn't approve that I'd tell about the situation to anyone, even to the high commander.

It was strange that Ardyn had sort of wanted me as his bodyguard and then in the actual situation he left me behind. I could almost hear him starting the talk, "But my dear, your safety, blah blah blah..."

I'd really need to get to work on those magic flasks and not to be left out like this again. I knew he studied daemons and their energies. Something dangerous loose in his labs... It was likely a daemon.

As if on cue, the door opened and Ardyn staggered in, breathing raggedly. He barely seemed to be able to walk, and headed straight to the shower. His clothes and boots were covered in both red and black blood, leaving stains on the floor. He made it under the shower, standing against the wall, just heaving and taking support.

I had already run for elixir, and just like Ravus had helped me to use it before, I used it now for Ardyn. He regained some strength, but was still so tired he could barely function. He must have been in one hell of a fight to be in this condition.

I began to undress him despite his weak objections and for once I wasn't drooling after his body. I was too worried, seeing the fresh, angry red scars all over his body. I wondered how they weren't bleeding anymore. I helped him to shower, washing his hair and body, and dried him up, and then supporting him, I walked him to his bed.

After I made sure he was alright and propped comfortably in the bed, I went to clean up the mess we had left behind. He had fallen unconscious as soon as he had laid down, not able to mind as I took the wet towel from his loins and slightly correcting his position in the bed before covering him with a dark grey satin sheet.

His clothes were mainly in rags, dripping blood in a sickening way and I simply bagged them to be thrown away. Then I began to clean up the floors, washing away the grime. His shoes were still in somewhat wearable condition, so I washed them too before leaving them to dry in the bathroom.

Now he was back, and I was too worried to rest myself. I went to check him, and he was breathing evenly under the covers, unmoved. I looked at him for a long time. He seemed younger in his sleep, more innocent and vulnerable than ever compared to him awake.

He had handsome features, long and thick eyelashes, and very dark brown brows. His mouth was beautiful. For once it wasn't twisted in sardonic smile.

As I went to fetch a book for myself and returned to his side, I wondered if he was a fallen angel. He certainly had both the looks and the nature. And he kept his kind side so well hidden, probably considering it just an annoying hindrance. Too bad, since I kind of liked him when he was on that nice mood.

This day had been certainly full of surprises. And a long one despite our nap in the airship. When I had read few chapters, I was ready to close my eyes myself.

I checked his well-being one more time, and wiped away stray hairs from his face. I got up to change my nightclothes, put the lights off, and sank into the dreamless sleep beside him.


	6. Chapter 6

He was gone when I got up. Only a note and a key were at the dining table. 'Call me when you want to get to the flasks.'

What an asshole. Not even a thank you for last night. Pissed off, I ended up texting to Ravus and asking if he would be having any business in Gralea anytime soon and fancied to spar. In a few minutes I received a message back, telling he'd be here in an hour. What a luck!

When he knocked on the door, I was ready and in gear. "I arrived in the same vessel as you did. I thought you knew," he told after greeting me. Nope, Ardyn hadn't said a word about it. Bastard. Instead of exploding verbally, I just shook my head. "I've been sitting too much for last two days. Have a cure for that?"

"Sure. Let's go," he agreed and began to lead me to the training grounds. They were empty, except for a small group of magitek soldiers, inanimate, waiting. "Care to take a few on, or do you want to try to pound me down to the ground straight away," he asked and made me laugh. 

He gauged carefully at my reaction, only raising his eyebrows in question. "Are you kidding me. Lemme at them first. Need to feel at least some success before I get frustrated by trying in vain to pound you down," I told him and this time he laughed with me before commanding the soldiers on me.

It felt good, to imagine my boss's face on each of those green-faced creeps and hack them into pieces, one by one. I loved to kick them, break the joints in their arms and legs, first crippling them and then destroying them for good. 

From one I even separated the head with its own axe, feeling satisfied as it crumbled on the floor, leaving behind a pile of shivering flesh. As I was done, I moved away to clean ground and sat down huffing. Ravus had been doing quiet observing all this time and instead of attacking, he came to me and sat down opposite me.

"What did he do," he asked, all serious. I lifted my eyes to his, once again feeling a little lost at the effect of his eyes and their intensity. Combined with his showy armour and grey hair, he was frightening. And very handsome. Why hadn't I fallen for him instead, I thought, suddenly disappointed at myself.

"Nothing," I replied weakly. "Oh, come on. Tell me the truth. What happened," he said, not believing me for one second. "Did he hurt you somehow," his eyes widened, expression horrified as he thought further possibilities. 

"No! He's just sometimes really, really annoying. Like really pompous, obnoxious..." I didn't get any further with my list, as Ravus was howling with laughter, relieved. "So you needed to vent. Girl, I'm your man, anytime," he grinned.

"Now, get up and use some of those moves on me. You did just better than last time," he encouraged me, and we began the deadly dance. He made me try harder, corrected my mistakes and gave some pretty good hints. After few much-needed elixirs I was totally spent and in much better mood.

I bowed deep as I thanked him, and he nodded in acknowledgement. "Anytime. Let me take you back and we will continue another time again." As we walked, our chatting was a lot easier and I wondered if we'd become friends at this rate.

As I showered, I heard the door open and shut again. I had just the time to shut the shower and wrap myself in the towel, when Ardyn knocked in the bathroom door. "Are you alright," he asked from the other side, sounding a little worried. 

I opened the door, still dripping water. "Am fine. Decided to get some exercise before putting my mind in the flasks. I was just about to call you," I told him coolly and his eyes seemed to involuntarily scan me up and down, taking in my bare skin, still glistening with water.

I went to the walk-in wardrobe, and as I dressed, he followed and sat down on the bed in the bedroom. I pulled on my favourite leather pants, and a loose long white shirt. It showed a little through, my bra just visible if one looked. He waited still as I emerged, drying my hair in the towel.

For the first time he seemed to hesitate. "Thank you for last night. I don't remember very much, just that I barely got in and then waking up naked in the bed. Did you really take me into the shower," he asked in slight disbelief.

"Yup," I nodded smugly. "Although you walked in there all on your own. Barely," I smiled at him and began to tell the condensed version of his homecoming. "Sounds like I owe you," he said weakly after my story. "Damn right you do," I told him. 

"So what's with the exercise," he asked carefully. "Felt like I needed it after these two days. Ravus happened to have some time," I shrugged my shoulders. Ardyn's eyes narrowed as he heard Ravus's name. "Did he now," he muttered. "Maybe I'll spar with you sometimes, if I've got the time." He seemed serious about it. 

"Right. Now I could get to work with those flasks," I smiled sweetly and ignored his last words. As if he would have time for sweating with me in training grounds. On the other hand, how did Ravus? 

"Right... let's go. The lab prepared for you isn't far." He got up, thoughtful as he showed the way. The space for my working wasn't really far as he'd said, just a hall or two away, and Ardyn gave me a key card, telling that only us two had the cards to the lab, and that everything here would remain between us.

Everything seemed freshly arranged, lots of things like my father's laboratory had been having. It contained everything I needed and even more. "Have you been to the laboratory in the palace," I had to ask Ardyn.

He shrugged and told he had sent a team to study it after the palace fell. It made the hairs in my neck rise. Those people had been likely the last to see whatever remained of my dad and I instantly hated them from the bottom of my heart.

Seeing I was upset with his answer, Ardyn tried to touch my shoulder in an attempt to console and I took a step away, staring the floor and just trying not to cry. "Sorry. Call me if you need me," he said and left me alone, door locking after him.

It took some time and a lot of tears, before I began to work. However, I had a fresh idea. I could make the flask size smaller, without that its properties would lessen. I sunk myself in the development, and hours after hours passed before I even noticed my terrible hunger. 

I carefully cleaned everything up, hiding what I had gotten done so far. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I wouldn't give anything easily to the empire, even if I worked for their chancellor. I put the lights out, making sure one more time that the door had locked before leaving to the Ardyn's apartment.

He hadn't come yet, so I devoured the food I'd done yesterday, continuing to read the book I'd started. A little later I went to do all my usual eveningstuff, before settling on the sofa and starting to watch a movie.

In some point I woke up in the dark room, tucked between the sheets and realizing that Ardyn must have carried me to bed from livingroom. He was sleeping right there by my side, breathing evenly.

I had no idea when I had fallen asleep. But it felt somehow safe that he was there. I turned to my other side, and fell asleep again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of heavy chapter. Lots of unhappy and unwelcome thoughts. Might have better stuff for tomorrow, I hope. ;)

In the morning he was gone again. Workaholic, I thought. But then on the other hand, he was probably a millionaire because of it and his brilliant mind, combined to certain ruthlessness and ambition. Perhaps one could learn from him. I began to dress up and plan breakfast.

I kind of missed being closer to him, like we had been at Lestallum. Sure, he had spent hours at his laptop or every now and then going to visit imperial bases, but physically... Well, scratch that. Now we were really sharing the flat and the bed. Except that we barely saw each other.

After eating, I drowned my own thoughts by continuing the work at my lab. Everything seemed untouched, although I still kept looking around if things were as I had left them. 

I had managed to make my prototype a whole lot smaller in size, but with it I should be able to cause storms. I still had that one unused old kind of magic flask, hidden in my purse wherever I went.

I began to work for more. My new flasks would become an innocent bracelet, looking like just a showy kind of women's jewelry. Nobody would know what it would hide inside. I'd just have to make it on the outside strong and fancy enough. Then all I'd need would be powerful objects like zu beaks or dragon claws to be melted together with elemental energy. 

Which brought my mind right back to Ardyn. It felt a little ridiculous, that he was constantly on my mind nowadays. At least I didn't have time to mourn my lost place in the kingsguard and their hearts. Shit. Why did I seem to insist at torturing myself by thinking all this stuff?

After hours of concentrating and working, I decided to finish up again. I'd probably have to start to bring myself a snack and at least something to drink while I'd work here. Scattering and hiding everything again, I felt relieved that probably tomorrow my part on this would be done.

Ardyn wasn't home yet, so I decided to indulge myself a little after doing some cleaning, laundry and preparing dinner again. He was handling almost all the calls and running business fully on his own here, so I really didn't feel burdened with work.

I had been dying to get to try out the jacuzzi. I slid in there, mentally letting go of everything. Soaking in the warm water felt great, and the bubbles were just a wonderful extra. This was real luxury. Afterwards I washed my hair too, and saw some effort with extra grooming just to feel better.

My thoughts again drifted, and I found myself comparing my life travelling in the wilds against this one. Sure, both were nice and good in their own ways, and with some bad too, of course. Reminded me actually about the coin with different sides. Depended of what one valued.

Later in the evening I began to worry about Ardyn again. The thought of going to the labs filled with daemons wasn't too inviting. I had a unnerving feeling he didn't really want me there either. I sent him a text and he simply replied he'd be back late, and that I didn't need to wait for him.

Great. He hires me and I ended up being a maid. Why would he promise me a job, if he didn't want me to do it? Except to probably annoy my former companions and try to get some vital information about them. And much I knew, how to make them tick under their navels... shit. Not going there again. 

I called Ravus in order to stop thinking. I had surprised him as this was purely a social call, but he sounded to be alright with it. After chatting for a while, he actually suggested about going out for a drive to see a bit of Gralea with him.

"Let's get you out of the Keep," he smiled as he came to knock on the door. He lead us to the garages, going straight to one of the fanciest cars I had ever seen. It had the glossy paintjobs, and my admiration clearly amused Ravus.

"Well, imperial military bases and equipment are utilitarian, but not exactly fancy on the outside, you know. But when you do or need something finer, you seem to go way over the top," I explained.

He was unexpectedly nice company. I got to see the sights of the city in the evening and it was magnificent. The architexture was of course different from anything at Lucis, so it was fascinating to see the town. The big city reminded me of growing up at Imsomnia, and I told him some of that time.

Talking about it made him quite bothered, so I eventually tried to drop the subject. Which he of course noticed. "I don't mind if you talk about Imsomnia or your family. Mine is just... complicated," he said roundaboutly. 

"Well, it's not that I have any left. It was just me and my father, and now he is gone too," I explained and he nodded. I didn't dare to say straight that I blamed in fact the empire about his death. Not to mention yesterdays fit in the lab, either.

Arriving back to the fortress was a little depressing. Even if Ardyn had a wonderful apartment, the keep was still strictly functional and cold, and it felt so restricting I almost felt anxious to return. 

Ravus seemed to notice it, but didn't ask aloud about it. There was plenty of unsaid things between us, but we really needed to trust more in each other before we could get to them. 

Instead I hugged him on the whim at the apartment door, thanking him for sharing his valuable time with me. "You're welcome," he said, a bit reserved at my unexpected gesture. "Sparring again tomorrow or day after?" He suggested and I agreed, promising to text him later about the time and returned to the flat. 

It was still empty. Sticking to the routine, I went to change, washed my teeth and face, and collapsed alone in the bed with the book.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! <3

I woke up, hearing the door open and close. I knew he was trying to be quiet and not wake me up, but deep down I had been waiting for him. Today had been the only day when we hadn't talked or at least seen each other awake. 

I wondered if he was taking distance all on purpose. Maybe I had worn out my novelty, not being the shiny new toy anymore, I had thought on worst moments before getting my act together again.

"Hey," I said, squinting at the light on at the hallway and walking to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he sincerely apologized. "It's okay. How was your day," I asked and walked after him to the kitchen.

"Long. Tiring. Annoying," he told me and sat heavily down by the bar counter. "I'd ask if you could tell me about it, but you'd probably say no, so... anything I could do for you?" I told him a bit exaggeratedly, and I saw he still had a glimpse of humour left in his eyes as he replied. "If I go to take a shower, I'd really like to have something to eat afterwards, please. A sandwich, if nothing else."

"You alright with some lasagne and salad?" I asked, already picking up a plate. "Sure, that would be great," he agreed and got up to go to shower. I warmed up a portion, added the salad and some dressing. I poured him a glass of water and a full glass of wine. 

Then I realized he hadn't gone first to pick up any clean clothes, so I went to walk-in wardrobe and collected something relatively relaxed by his measure. He'd probably never worn a simple t-shirt in his life and wouldn't if he had any say in it.

I knocked on the door as he was just shutting the shower, and told him I had picked up some clothes for him. He seemed content enough by my choice, and opened the door enough to take the pile, thanking me briefly.

As I fixed myself a cup of tea, he emerged, running his hand in his damp hair. He sat down in the kitchen again, happy to get to eat. He was really hungry, but tried still to pace himself and eat slowly. I leaned against the counter, sipping my tea. "Would you like some more," I offered when he was nearly done.

"No, thank you. This was more than I needed," he replied and I took his plate away. He seemed to hesitate before continuing carefully. "It is different coming home, having a ready meal and someone waiting. I have forgotten what it's like."

A thought flashed in my mind and I smirked. And of course he noticed and didn't let it slide, asking me what. "So every personal assistant of yours is not sharing the sleeping quarters either?" I teased him. "As it happens, you are the first one," he said, smiling that dangerous smile and not specifying which one I was, clearly on purpose. 

Brushing my frustration aside, I asked if he wanted or needed anything else. "I already woke you up. I couldn't ask for more," he told, shaking his head. "I'm not about to feel sleepy again at least for a while yet," I told him back, taking a look at the time. Almost two a.m. 

"Perhaps you could keep me company for some time still, then," he asked. "You're not tired?" I inquired back. "I am, but I'm having hard time to relax," he replied uneasily.

"Okay. How about a movie then," I suggested and he nodded, getting up to put on the tv. He seemed to be fond of old movies, selecting one again. "What if I massaged your shoulders again for a while? You're all tense again," I offered. He was about to say no, but he seemed tempted to agree.

I put a large pillow in front of me on the floor, and simply told him to sit. And for once he didn't argue, and settled there between my feet and leaning his back to the sofa. "Would you mind taking your shirt off? It would be easier for me," I suggested innocently. I received a long look, but he still began to open the buttons of his shirt and took it off.

As I sunk my fingers on his bare skin, feeling tight muscles, he sighed. I tried to find every spot that was tense, sliding my hands, fingers and knuckles over them and coaxing them to my will. With time he began to relax and closed his eyes, as I mapped out his muscles.

I enjoyed the feel of his warmness, skin feeling like silk. I began to rise up to his neck, slowly making my way higher and to the bottom of his skull.

As I slowed down and finished up, he groaned. He got up, putting his shirt back on and leaving it unbuttoned for now, just to slump next to me on the sofa, sighing. "That was so good... You are too good to me." 

As he studied me through heavy eyelids, I smiled back. "I'm just glad it helped. I think you are quite ready to bed now. When have you even taken a day off," I wondered, trying not to think at his tan skin, flat stomach and beautiful bare chest showing from his open shirt.

He thought and couldn't come up with an answer. "I can't remember. You haven't had many either," his tone changed into accusing. "Yeah, but at least I can remember my last free day. And it's not like you are working me like a mule here," I argued back. "That's it. You're not working tomorrow or day after tomorrow," he said, being all boss-like again.

"And what would I do alone? Go get lost at the town? Go shopping? Lie in the bed all day? Gimme a break. Seriously, Ardyn, I'm not the one who's working self to death in this household..." I didn't even get to finish as he began to laugh. I tried to rewind what was so funny and I still didn't get it.

"Are you trying to hint that you would rather spend your day off with me," he asked, looking quite sly and beginning to button his shirt. "What I'm trying to hint is that you need the worry-free day more than I do, at this rate anyway," I insisted stubbornly. 

"Fine," he promised lightly, making me instantly suspicious. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah. So we are not in any hurry to bed, then. We can sleep late tomorrow. Glass of wine, my dear?" He was smirking and already getting up to pour for me too, not waiting for my reply.

As he returned with rather full glasses, giving me another one, I still muttered to him rebelliously, that I couldn't remember either a time when he would've slept late.


	9. Chapter 9

I knew I was dreaming. Everything just felt so real, that it rather felt like this wasn't a dream but the reality. I had been at Gralea, but now I was sitting in the glaring hot sunshine with Ravus.

We were back at the streetside café in Lestallum, people hustling and bustling on the street as we were enjoying the ice cold drinks. Why were we here? "I thought we meant to spar today," I told him, confused.

"Well, sure. But it is just such a fine day, and I couldn't have gotten better company. I thought I mentioned this was supposed to be a date," he evaded my question and I thought he was somehow strange, very unlike himself. "We didn't agree about a date, we're just friends, remember?" I admonished him gently.

"Oh, have you fallen for your boss yet? Don't tell me you have any actual feelings towards him. I thought you and I had a thing," he said, sounding mocking and condescending. My temper flared at his tone, and I got up. "For your information, we don't have a thing. Not me and Ardyn, and even less you and me."

His eyes widened in shock. "Oh. So you really do feel something for him. But you see, I am a prince of Tenebrae. He is nothing compared to me! I know you must want me deep down inside. Imagine all the things we could be." He followed and grabbed my arm, trying to pull me to him.

"What even if I did like him? Be a king of Lucis, I couldn't care less. Now, let go of me, if you understand your own good," I told him coldly. He wouldn't let go, instead intertwining his fingers between mine, other hand stroking my back, ignoring my threat and I began to really get royally pissed off with both of his attitude and behaviour.

"Wake up. Wake up!" I heard a call of familiar voice and snapped back to the reality. I was still feeling the fingers between mine and the arm behind my back, trying to soothe me as I struggled, but I wasn't in Ravus's arms.

My head was leaning on a warm shoulder and my leg was sprawled over his, too. My fight or flight -instinct was really conflicted now. Then a déjà vu hit me, and I almost jumped away but he didn't let me, holding me now with an iron grip.

"Shhh, easy now, it's alright," he whispered as I panicked. I raised my eyes to Ardyn's amber ones. "It was just a dream. You rolled in your sleep to my lap. Which I didn't mind at all," he said, mouth twisting in a half-smile.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." I tried to say, but he leaned to kiss me, pushing me back and smothering every objection I could have. My lips were moving with his, and I moaned to his mouth, as shivers ran in my spine. His tongue was eager to explore mine and I had a feeling I'd soon forget how to breathe.

Just this one kiss was enough to make me want him, burning every coherent thought away in my head. And then he began gradually to slow down, to enjoy just a feeling of the kiss and our lips still moving together, while I was already burning inside.

As I opened my eyes, he was almost on top of me, holding me in his arms and golden flames dancing in his eyes. "It feels like I have wanted to do that for ages now," he said hoarsely.

"Will this change anything between us," I asked, a part of me scared. "No, not unless you want to," he replied seriously. "This is just..." I started to say and didn't know how to finish. "Chemistry," he whispered as he nipped the line of my jaw with his lips, maroon hair brushing my skin.

"My heart was broken and there are just pieces left," I told him and still tried to remember again how to breathe, feeling my pulse pounding in my veins. "I'll try to treat them with care," he promised solemnly and once again his eyes were reading me. It was his turn to take a deep breath. 

"You know, I tried, I really tried not to start to like you. You were just something I thought I could steal from Noctis and slam back at his face when it would be convenient for me. But I began to care for you. Gradually. Unfortunately, tender feelings have not been my thing for a long time," he confessed.

"I know," I said bluntly and he laughed huskily with me. I ran my fingers on his cheek, feeling the familiar short stubble and his hair, always attempting to get in his face. Being so near and to touch him like this made my head wheeze. "Are you really alright with this," he asked, still concerned.

I had known for a while that I wanted him. That I could still admit. I promised myself I wouldn't permit myself to fall in love with him, that would become way too complicated. Besides, last time I had thought to be in love had left me in shambles.

Still... I had to ask him the thing that worried and scared me the most. "Will you promise me... that you won't throw me away when I am useless? Respect and really care for me?"

He looked at me for a long time, stroking my hair and keeping me close before he nodded. "I promise." He really did. Out of everything he had ever said to me, I knew this was honest for once.

"You know, there was this feeling. The first time when I grabbed your hand to help you up in that airship, I knew something would still happen between us. Now I just feel sorry I didn't try to steal you so much sooner," Ardyn grinned.

"What something?" I teased him. "I don't know. There just was this... electricity? When we touch?" His forehead furrowed. "So you feel it too," I wondered. "You too?" He asked, slightly surprised.

I took the initiative, and pulled him to another deep kiss, spark lighting once more into a flame. I knew he was happy about me taking the chance, grinning. "I take that as a yes. What would you like to do today?"

"Maybe we could spar together since you offered one day. And I'd love to get out of here. Your flat is great, but the rest of this place is giving me creeps," I suggested. "As you wish. Car or airship?" He agreed surprisingly easily.

"What? Car, I suppose," I desperately tried to stay along with his train of thought. "Great. Wear your gear for now, let's do the fighting first before we shower and leave," he said casually and pecked my cheek before getting up and moving to the bathroom.

I didn't even dare to ask if he really literally meant that we'd actually shower together. Sure, we'd been kissing and I'd taken him once to shower myself, but still this was kind of fast progress. I would have liked to... heck, I wanted lots of things. And of course my mind reminded of bouncing to the bed with kingsguard on a spur of moment. And look how that had ended up... Shut up, SHUT UP, my brain was screaming for itself.

As I lied still in the bed, staring numbly at the ceiling and tormented by my own mind, Ardyn already returned to the doorstep. "What's up? Are you alright," he frowned, looking slightly worried.

"Am fine," I muttered, not looking at his eyes and tried to find my limbs and get going as fast as I could. I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom myself.

Later we were standing in the familiar space meant for training, facing each other. He beckoned me to attack and as I closed in, swinging my fists, he blocked my blows with ease.

No matter how fast I weaved my combos, he was quicker to evade them, and even with less spent effort than Ravus. As I sweated and grew irritated, he was grinning that evil little smile of his, even hunching slightly on the other side.

As I once more tried to break his defence, he grabbed me, swung me around and kissed my neck from behind as he held my hands blocked effortlessly. "You're not half bad, keep going," he whispered in my ear and dodged just in time before I knocked my head backwards and tried to step on his feet, enraged even more.

As he had pushed me slightly forward, I twirled around, already prepared with another kick. "What sort of oatmeal are you empires folks eating when I can barely touch you," I huffed frustrated as I tried to figure out his patterns of defence.

He laughed and tauntingly began to block with one hand and foot only. After a while, he let me almost hit him, grabbing my fist in his. He pulled me forward from my waist holding me and then bent me backwards as if we had been merely dancing.

The time almost stopped as his gaze bore into mine. He said I could have incapacitated a horde of daemons by now on my own, and then kissed my lips. I still felt annoyed and I bit his lip.

As he stood straight, he still held me and laughed, this time really amused. "Good girl," he honestly praised as he let go, backed up carefully and wiped his slightly bleeding lower lip.

"A perfect demostration of the attitude, when someone wants things busted up and the means are not a problem. Well done," he smiled approvingly. 

"My dear, you will be unstoppable once you get to wield your magic. I will hope you never decide to use it on me, though," he continued and I wondered what he meant by using magic on him. My spells in the future were meant to be fatal, how could he speak so lightly like that?

I stepped forward slowly, and watched the small trickle of blood still on his lip, tiny cut beginning to ebb. As I raised my finger to brush the leaked blood away, I sincerely apologized my action.

He took my finger and as I watched, he lifted it to his mouth and sucked it clean, tongue flicking, tasting my skin and his own blood. It felt so wrong, and still so sensual that I felt shocked to the core and I knew he enjoyed my reaction.

"Right. I think you and I have gotten enough of this place for today. Let's go back to the flat, so we can clean up and change," he suggested. He had barely sweated, but I needed the shower.

As I had changed into a long black dress, he was already waiting, sitting relaxedly on the sofa, wearing that dark graphite-grey shirt I liked and black trousers. He was handsome.

"Will we then," he asked, getting up. "What will we do," I asked him back as we walked to the garages. He opened the door for me, and the car was just as fine as Ravus's had been. "I was thinking about us going for a brunch, and then getting out of town for dessert. You'll see," he smiled.

The restaurant he took us to was ridiculously fancy. The staff obviously knew who he was and treated us like royalty as he ordered us everything. The food was gorgeous and it was difficult to eat reasonably. As we were about to leave, they brought us a basket, and as Ardyn took it, he winked at me. "Dessert."

Soon we were back at the car, almost flying as we got out of the town. He enjoyed driving fast, our speed almost reckless. The view was wonderful, the rocky desert around us basking in the light as the sun climbed to its climax in the sky.

After an hour, we arrived to a cliff by the glimmering blue sea. The air was salty and not as stifling hot as in the dry desert, seabreeze feeling wonderful. I could hear the waves beating mercilessly to the rocks below us.

"It's beautiful here," I sighed as he followed me and stopped beside me. He nodded, gazing to the sea with me. "We could leave back to Lucis sometime after tomorrow. You'd have time to finish up the flasks tomorrow, I hope," he suggested. 

"Did you know I'm almost finished," I asked him. "I've been wiping every evening the secret surveillance tape from your lab myself. Neither of us want this to leak forward to outsiders. This is our pact after all," he said gravely.

"Surveillance tape? Shit," I moaned as I realized I still hadn't been paranoid enough. His mouth was twitching, and he tried to stay serious. "Although you cleaning after yourself has been pretty cute. Come on," he bumped my elbow.

He spread a huge thick blanket on the ground, two small pillows and the basket from the restaurant. As we sat down, Ardyn cleared his throat. He was about to tell me something big.

"I might have a gig coming for you. If you don't feel comfortable about it, I'll send someone else to take care of it. I suspect that prince Noctis and the rest of his crew will soon need something from an old mythril mine at Vesperpool area. This could be your chance to show them you didn't stay to lie in the fire after they left you. It would help me, you and them. What do you say? Is the idea tolerable," he inquired.

"I'll go," I promised even if it made my heart beat a little louder. "You don't have to do this, if you don't want to. And I want you to return to me. To be with me. You understand?" he said, voice thick with unusual worry.

"I will come back," I promised him, stroking his cheek and he seemed to breathe a little easier. "What happened between you and them," he finally asked straight, still studying me.

He had sure taken his sweet time, and I was sure that he had at least tried figure it out on his own. Maybe he hadn't gotten the answer from his sources or he wanted to hear my side. I sighed.

"Long story short, I kept a kind of big secret from Noct. With kingsguard. It involved... a lot of... feelings. However, I was the only one who got the boot, taking the blame about the whole thing. Or at least what I know about it. It wasn't fair. When I was sure they probably wouldn't come back for me anymore, I decided to accept your work offer. I wouldn't have otherwise."

"I saw that you were broken, when we met for the first times at Lestallum," he said carefully, still not revealing if he knew any details about my love affair. "I'm sorry, at least almost, for them. They don't realize what they lost. On the other hand, I didn't expect that I'd come to actually care about your thoughts and feelings. You have changed me, waking up something forgotten," he wondered.

"How come," I asked, interested. This was rare occasion, when he felt like talking. He shrugged. "It's a long story," he told, staring to the sea.

"We have time. I'd like to hear," I encouraged him and lied down on my side, looking at him, his hair flaming in the sun and waved by a slight breeze. He took a deep breath, beginning to tell.

"I wasn't always this cold and hard man. In a sense I am broken too. I was a healer once, and very good one at that, even before I discovered my full ability. I even traveled once a year through the kingdom to meet those people who couldn't come to me. I was widely renowned. I healed thousands of people from the plague reaving the land. As I absorbed the daemonic energies, certain... parties condemned me, deciding that I was unclean and tainted.

Everything I loved was taken away from me. I lost my job, my home, everything I had because of my ability. As a new king rose in to the power, he disreputed me fully on purpose. As he soliditated his power, he was also affecting the common opinion on purpose, and soon everyone thought the same. Even some of the people that I had healed of the disease turned against me. My good reputation changed to the one of the rejected outcast.

I came to the conclusion that Astrals are useless and vain, that every man fends for himself and true gratefulness is a rarity. People are not naturally good. They are born with a seed of darkness in them. People killed any good and kind feelings from me for a very long time.

All I have ever wanted was to get my home back and eventually get to die there. It's been a long time, and I feel so... thin and worn-out in the inside. I've been full of hate and bitterness. I've fought against the wills of every daemon spirit I've absorbed, and they've always succumbed to mine before eventually disappearing.

I admit, I carry grudges. Lots of them. But the judgement was not fair. I want justice, even if I have to take it myself. Working for the empire is just a means to the end for now."

As he finished and fell silent, his eyes shone with tears that refused to fall. I was sure he hadn't felt like this for a while. I opened my arms, and he hugged me for a long time, his arms wrapping around me. "You wield your own magic, melting a corner of my cold heart," he said, curled around me.

"I'm sorry," I told him, not quite sure what to tell him. I hadn't expected nothing like this from him. "I'm not much of a good person, really," I confessed to him.

"I just wanted to last long enough on this job, so that I could get big paycheck and get the hell out of Lucis. I thought I'd want to move to Altissia, nurse my heart somehow back together again and start a new life," I told him, on the verge of tears myself. "I know," he said back now more casually.

"How?" I felt stunned. I hadn't told him. "Because I do read most people like open books," he joked. Only I didn't know if he really was joking, since I had seen his skills of perception.

"Still, you've taken very good, almost unnecessarily good care of me," his eyes were knowing, voice making a statement. "Right back at yourself. Aren't we a pair," I smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This is a sort of weird request, but is anybody playing Tekken 7??? Would you be kind enough to help me out with online trophies? I really suck with fighting on online. Throw me a message, please! ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Next day Ardyn was already long gone again when I got up. 'Only thing you need to do today is to finish the flasks, if you want to get to use them soon. Take it easy otherwise' the note on the table said. 

I took the note and threw it away in frustration. I should have known our relationship wouldn't change, he was still too busy to look after his own interests. I knew he cared, but he seemed to act only when it simply suited him.

Perhaps I'd go to finish up the flasks and then ask if Ravus had some time to train with me. He had offered it some time ago after all, and I had promised to let him know. In fact, it would be probably better to actually text him first, and do some serious warming up in time.

As I was working on putting finally together my new magical bracelet, I got the message back. He would be available later in the afternoon. He suggested meeting in the hangars at four o'clock, telling me to prepare well.

Sounded like we'd go out if we'd go to the hangars, I wondered. Well, I'd have plenty of time to finish up, clean the lab and have light late lunch.

As I made my way later through the keep, it felt like an endless maze. There was quite little movement, and making my way alone there felt quite unnerving. I had this odd feeling of being watched. Ardyn had told that everybody didn't approve of me, and now I was heading on my own to the other side of the keep.

As I turned one corner, I bumped into someone tall right behind it. As I was backing off and already lifting my fist to strike, I realized it was Ravus himself. 

He was surprised himself, and chuckled as he realized how close I had already been to attack him. "Easy, it's just me," he said, taking a step back. "You're about to take a wrong turn. The hangars are just about a corner away. You nervous or something?"

As I walked with him, I told him about my weird feeling and Ardyn's warning. He nodded thoughtfully, seeming to think of something, but didn't want to share it with me.

"It might be better indeed that I will walk you back when we return," he said mysteriously. So maybe there really was some reason for caution, I pondered. "We are going out for a hunt, by the way," he said before I could ask. 

A group of human soldiers was waiting for us by the aircraft, standing in strict lines. "There has been signs of new kinds of daemons in the southern part of desert. We are to investigate and capture. Now, move it," he ordered the troops before turning to me.

"This will be excellent chance for you to furthen your combat skills. I will fight by your side, so there is nothing to worry about," he said to me. And I believed him, I had seen his incredible strength before. After all, I had fought both against him and with him, and I was glad this time would be latter. "What kind of new daemons are we talking about," I asked.

"A kind very closely resembling mindflayers, but a lot more dangerous. Braindrainers. We are supposed to bring one back in, preferably two, and unfortunately they need to be alive.

"There is an aerial vessel that has been following them for a while now. The soldiers will contain the area and the possible daemons otherwise, but they will not engage the actual target.

We have been provided with a powerful sedative and special boxes to contain them in once they are out. The only problem with the sedative is, that is must be injected preferably under the skin and the drainers move as a pair. So, if I will keep them busy, you'll flank or blindside them and inject the sedative," Ravus explained.

"Sounds dangerous," I wondered. I'd seen a fair share of daemons, but these measures taken seemed grand. "My original plan was to take them on by myself. But I'd like to have someone both capable and trustworthy to watch my back. Besides, I think it's time for your training to step up. Together we can take them on," Ravus smiled confidently.

It was just dark, when we arrived in the desert and jumped down from the vessel. The drainers were only a dune or two away, and we approached them silently. Ravus emerged in their sight first, and they both attacked fearlessly at him.

I circled around and creeped behind another one closer to me, stabbing it in the back with a tranquilizer. It slowed down a little, but didn't fall. Instead, I became a fresh target for them as both braindrainers turned around. "Shit, Ravus, it's not working! Plan B," I yelled as I tried to dodge them both.

He moved like a lightning, taunting the faster one to turn back to him. "I guess we take them down in an old-fashioned way, then," he huffed at me. "You see why I'd like to shock their asses into crisps right now," I yelled back in frustration as I moved to guard back to back with him.

As we blocked their attacks and whirling tentacles, we both saw the opening with the slower one. I was already in the move and Ravus boosted me for extra height and speed. I hit the drainer hard in its blind spot and it fell down with me landing on top, and it was properly stunned for now.

"Take care of it! I will keep the other one away from you," Ravus yelled. I pressed the button given to me and received a box from air in ten endlessly long seconds. The drainer was already about to show first signs of waking up, and I hit it once more in its head and dragged it in, closing the box for good.

Ravus had pulled the other one away, but he had clearly paid the high price. He had a nasty bleeding gash in his face, he seemed tired and slightly disoriented. The drainer must have gotten some really nasty attack through on him. I had to hurry.

I pulled the other shot ready, and in rising rage hit it to the drainers neck as I leaped at it from behind. Ravus was close enough to pound it down in the second I was away from the immediate reach. I was already pressing the button again and this time the box came quicker, and we both pushed the braindrainer frantically in.

As the aircraft landed and soldiers collected the containers, Ravus and I both sat down on the sand, wheezing and gathering energy just to get up again. "Thank you," Ravus huffed to me. "I take it you mean to say 'fuck you, you're still not dead'," I smirked at Ravus and saw the shock on his face turn to amusement as he realized I was joking.

"Shit, I might have died without you. I wouldn't have lasted much longer without your intervention. They were way more dangerous than I thought," he said seriously. I didn't know which one shook my core more, his swearing or him admitting that he had been almost beaten by these monsters.

He recovered and got up first, offering his hand to pull me up, which I gratefully accepted. "Why do I always end up feeling like I have been taking a next-level beating, when we 'train' together," I whined at him, as we staggered on the vessel. He pushed me an elixir in my hand and I crushed it, feeling immediately better. I'd probably have to start stashing them for situations like these.

"You get better every time," Ravus said as we went to our seats and I began to clean the gash in his face. Luckily it wasn't deep, just lots of blood. He gazed at me and kept talking. "You got the job done, even it didn't work out like originally planned. As a high commander, I'd like to thank you for a job well done. Personally, I owe you one."

"Well, next time you'll know to take some more potent tranqs with you," I winked at him. "So for whom are these going? For Ardyn's study?" I saw Ravus's face darken and he nodded, deep in clearly unpleasant thoughts.

As we arrived to the keep, I saw Ardyn pacing restlessly in the hangars. His eyes briefly slid on the two containers before settling on me and Ravus. He sped up his walk and was upon us as we stepped out of the aircraft.

"You had no right to take her with you," he yelled at Ravus, so angry his face were twisting. Then he turned to me. "Do you realize how worried I was!" He yelled, shaking my shoulders. 

"No, because you weren't there all day," I answered coldly and saw from corner of my eye Ravus flinching. "That's it! You stay away from him," Ardyn kept yelling. I had never seen him lose it like this.

"Or what? I will be grounded? Possibly fired?" I argued back. "Your little fieldtrip almost had you killed!" He kept shrieking and human soldiers next to us seemed to try to take distance inconspicuously, avoiding both Ravus and Ardyn.

"You know what, you almost had him killed, when the tranquilizers didn't work well enough," I said, nodding towards Ravus and wondered if Ardyn had done it all on purpose. On that same sudden spur of paranoia, I thought how had he known I was gone? Did he check the lab? Did he have surveillance on his apartment?

"Those tranquilizers were dosed to take down king behemoths," Ardyn explained drily and I still felt skeptical. Their relationship was nothing to described with friendly terms. Why hadn't there been more tranquilizers, just in case?

"He kept me perfectly safe and paid the cost himself," I told him more quietly. This time Ravus stepped forward. "I wouldn't have managed without her aid. Next time, feel free to arrange your own team to bag your monsters," Ravus said icily to Ardyn.

Still scowling, Ravus offered me his arm and asked whether I'd like him to escort me back to the flat through the keep. I took it in silence, but before I could make a single step, Ardyn was between us and holding my hand that had been resting on Ravus's.

"I will see her to get there. I'll meet you soon by the labs. I want a full report," he growled to Ravus, eyes flaming. Then his hand was on my waist and he already walked me briskly towards his apartment.

I didn't say a word aloud until we were there and the door had shut behind us. "Ardyn." I said and I had his attention now. "I am not made of glass. I can't sit still in here all day. And I am not a bird to be closed in the cage. I can't live my life like this," I told him, staring at the floor.

He walked closer and lifted my chin to study my eyes. "I know. I just don't want to push you knowingly in danger," he said more softly now, caressing my cheek. "How did you know I was gone," I asked him. 

"First I dropped by in your lab. It was empty, so I came here. All I found was my note crumbled on the floor. I really felt crazy with worry, as I soon realized you were nowhere in the keep. I wanted to ask you to pack our things, as I was planning we'd leave today with night flight," he explained.

"Sorry," I said. He had been really worried about my well-being. I should have let him know I was gone. Still, I couldn't swipe all of my doubts under the carpet. Now just wasn't time to investigate them all.

He closed in and held me close in his arms briefly. "I'll come to get you and our luggage in two hours. Pack about what we had when we came and wear your gear, please." When he left, I noticed he hadn't asked about the magic flasks. He must have known I was finished.

It frustrated me, the way he was cool and keeping distance again as if nothing had happened yesterday. It was like he had taken a step back. And yet he had seemed jealous, when I was with Ravus. Maybe I just should be happy with the situation as it was, just in the name of self-preservation.

But when we went to sleep in the small cabin, my heart grew restless as we laid down on a narrow bunk. Just like before, he covered us with his beautiful thick coat. Only this time he left his hand to rest on my waist, after pulling me a little closer to himself.

Tomorrow our things would be taken to Lestallum, and we would be travelling straight to Vesperpool, expecting to meet Noctis and his guard sooner or later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was most heavily edited and re-written chapter so far.
> 
> Still looking for Tekken 7 partner... (Pretty please!)


	11. Chapter 11

"You sure you're up for this," Ardyn questioned me once again, hands resting on my shoulders. I nodded once more and he didn't ask for more reassurances. "Just come back safely then, my dear," he said and kissed my cheek unexpectedly gently.

He turned away and went to wait for Noctis and others ahead on the path. I stayed with couple of soldiers by the entrance of the dungeon, waiting for the party to come and the night fall.

I hadn't gone in before, but Ardyn seemed to be familiar with the place. He had told me to expect plenty of daemons and crumbling rock, while we would search the ore. From the very bottom of Steyliff Grove, likely.

He had 'other business to conclude meantime', but I suspected he just very much disliked being around Noctis. He had very little respect for anyone in the kingsguard, but when it came to Noctis I had felt his utter despise even without a word.

I had to admit that as Noctis, Ignis and Prompto finally arrived, I saw their expressions change as they recognized me, irritation turning to the shock. Their faces were priceless. Ardyn must have rubbed them very much the wrong way again, but it didn't matter now.

It had been really tickling me that I would be their assigned companion for finding the mythril. Gladiolus wasn't with them, but I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of asking after him.

"Welcome to the Steyliff. Shall we?" I asked them. The entrance was just about to open up and I turned towards it. "Wait, you are working for the empire now?" Noctis asked, stunned.

"No. I work for the chancellor, for now," I told him back coldly. "Isn't that the same thing," Ignis muttered as I walked the steep stairs down with them. "You look... very different," Prompto wondered, taking in my more daring new gear quite openly.

"Well, I couldn't exactly walk in my kingsguard outfit anymore," I reminded him and he seemed to wince a little, tearing his eyes away from me, Ignis and Noct just looking away.

Despite our differences, it still felt good to fall into familiar patterns while fighting, moving as a tight group in dim, stony rooms. As we ploughed our way through the packs of daemons, Ignis still quietly insisted being a gentleman.

In some point I noticed he wouldn't have let me fight if it had been up to him. I was surprised as he was trying to guard me when he wasn't looking after Noct's well-being. "You've gotten a lot stronger," he huffed as we took down an especially pesky creature together, moves synchronized in exact strikes just like we used to before.

"I had to," I told him back. "I wish you wouldn't have had to. I'm sorry, for what it's worth," he said to me seriously. Noct glared at us, and he fell silent. I had a feeling he would've wanted to say a lot more, but here were plenty of distractions and I knew he would never cross Noct either.

We had arrived once more to the great hall, seeming to be underwater. If one didn't mind the heavy, musty air and the rather distressing watery ceiling, this place was actually magnificent. The way that light filtered through the water in surface was beautiful. If not for the daemons, I would have liked this place. And as if called by my thoughts, a new bunch of them appeared.

Afterwards, Noct sought my company for the first time. "What's going on with you and the high chancellor? He is surely playing with you. He must be," he asked, grimly curious. "He offered me a job. Since there wasn't exactly much other choices to select from, I agreed. As simple as that," I told him darkly.

It was none of his business if there was more than that going on between us. Not anymore. A moment from this morning flashed in my mind, as we had been lying close together, face to face.

Perhaps we did have some of our game still on, but the nature of it had changed. He wasn't pure evil as we had assumed and suspected before. I had a bit easier time to understand him now.

"He just wants to use you," Prompto whined and I turned towards him. "And who's to say I'm not using him instead? He hasn't gotten any useful information about you. Certainly not from me. And at least I gain from this," I challenged him back harshly.

"Why did he arrange the access for us here," Noct still persisted. "Because unlike the empire, he wants you to reach Altissia. That much I know," I said. I would refuse tell him that I had bargained for their lives at my job interview. I could tell they weren't satisfied with my answers, but for now they had to accept what was given.

As we reached the dark bottom of the grove, I felt the hair rise up in my arms and neck. Something was here for sure. Lurking. Waiting. We had carefully mapped out every corner of this place, and so far we hadn't found even a hint about mythril.

Ardyn had told me this grove was the place to find it though, so it was probably right there ahead, waiting somewhere in the shadows alongside whatever monsters it was with.

All of sudden, stepping from almost pitch black darkness into the lighter great hall felt clearly like a trap. It seemed too empty, too quiet and we all shared the same anticipation.

As we all stepped carefully forward into the light, a huge bird-beast appeared, roaring on the bridge we had crossed earlier, wings beating air. We were either prey or we had stepped into its very own personal territory, but it didn't matter now. It was angry as hell and ready to tear us all to ribbons even if we tried to flee.

Soon we were all scattered and running, each of us defending and dodging its attacks and lightning it seemed to employ. And heck, it was striking hard and fast. No wonder it had once been considered a thunder god of a legend. It fought like a dragon, truly reminding one in likeness.

We almost had it on its last legs, when it suddenly turned fully around and threw the cloud of lightning on my direction. I tried to roll away, but I was slightly too late when the last wave of electricity hit me. It jolted through my body, burning and freezing my whole body in the same time and the sheer pain of it paralyzed me for a moment.

It was all it needed to slash its claws on me, while I tried to scramble backwards and desperately turn my side to it. My left arm and side was gushing blood now from the cuts, the leather neatly torn on the jacket. The actual searing pain came after few seconds later, making me groan and my eyes water. I heard someone call my name frantically in distance, and the beast turned away, after the voice.

In seconds Ignis was by my side, healing me. I began to feel gradually better, even if the cuts still throbbed. I watched as the beast screamed in agony with its last ear-shattering call, filled with pain and hate as Noct and Prompto finished it off. 

It was actually a beautiful, magnificent creature, even if it had been almost deadly to me. I felt sorry we had to kill it. I slowly gathered several blue feathers from it, deciding to save them for myself. My cuts were still hurting, slowly still dripping. 

As I looked past the creature, I saw something glittering in the ground. So there it was. The mythril we had sought. Others had seen it too, as Noctis was just about to go pick it up. 

I drifted to the patch of filtered light, grass and plants on a ground in the side of a wall. It felt amazing something so pure was still growing in a long-dead, daemon-infested place like this.

"I'm sorry we couldn't reach you in time," Prompto muttered as he arrived on my side. Ignis and Noctis were studying the end of hall further, disappearing into the dark shadows. "It's okay," I breathed. My cuts were stinging, and I didn't want to see how deep they actually were. 

"No, I mean back at the Lestallum. They didn't want to say it, but you were gone by the time Noct let us come back for you. We... I came back for you and I was too late. I'm sorry," he said quietly, blue eyes filled with sorrow.

As I understood what he was saying, the pain in my body subsided, as a new kind of it flowered in me. The night I had seen Prompto in the street... He had been looking for me. Still searching alone after others had given up. And I had hidden from him because of my broken heart. And I wondered how it still could keep breaking. Surely it should have been fine dust by now.

"Why didn't you call me?" I asked hoarsely. "We tried, but it didn't connect even once. All we found were traces gone cold. Nobody refused to say anything. It was as if you had vanished in thin air," Prompto muttered. Now that had to be something that Ardyn had pulled off, I thought and my heart sank.

Prompto tied in silence my upper two wounds with the scarf on his arm and a clean handkerchief he produced from somewhere. There wasn't much we could do to the one on my hip, but his gesture was kind enough to make me almost cry. The others returned, and we began our journey back to the surface together.

Noctis and Ignis chatted away with each other about the hidden cave, not noticing my or Prompto's uneasiness. I walked like a robot, pushing forward and drowning the physical pain while my head was working feverishly. Good thing we had barely any daemons to encounter anymore.

I knew now that I could've left with them, take my rightful place back in the kingsguard. I could leave my job with the high chancellor and continue to hate and undermine empire openly. I could be most valuable asset to the prince now.

Except that part about leaving Ardyn felt... bad. Almost unbearable. What had the bastard done to me? After all the shit he had caused? This was a dream come true and grasping it had never been easier.

"Return to me," he had said, the plead ringing in my ears. I wondered how much he had known or guessed. He must've been prepared that my ex-comrades would possibly want to take me with them.

He must have known, specifically chosen not to tell me and given me instructions instead. And still there had been something terribly vulnerable in his request as he had asked for me to come back.

As we reached the entrance, morning light feeling almost blinding, I offered them a lift. Ardyn had left me one of his own aircraft to use and I knew it'd be waiting at the end of the path. I went slowly ahead on my own, as they still stayed for a while to explore the vicinity. 

We could still travel together for at least a while. They would be uncomfortable as this would remind them again of my new position, but I didn't care. I just wanted some more precious time with them still. 

And then again, I urgently needed a word with Ardyn and I knew exactly where I would find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of those chapters that was so easy to write, just coming from somewhere and forming into (almost) ready text. One of my big favourites. Kinda like Steyliff Grove. ;)


	12. Chapter 12

As I entered the familiar suite in Leville, I saw Ardyn slumped by the table, untouched drink in his hand. He still had his coat on, as if he had just sat there, forgotten in time. Who knew how long he had been there.

The door loudly banged shut behind me, and he lifted his face. I saw the guilt, relief, anger and hope all mixed in his eyes as he looked at me, suddenly seeming older.

"I need a new jacket," I told him coldly. "Preferably a better one, since this one couldn't handle some claws." He took in my appearance, rising up hastily and hurrying closer to examine the damages in me. 

"They didn't keep you safe," he growled with resentment and anger as he removed my temporary bandages, throwing them frantically on the floor, trying to get the bloodstained and dirty white jacket off. 

"No, this was my very own fault, I wasn't fast enough," I breathed through my teeth and tried not to yell in agony as his fingers pried off the ruined coat, and it touched my cuts briefly. 

He rushed to get a briefcase he had always kept close by, but never opened in my sight before. Now I saw it was filled with full glass bottles and smaller vials. He grabbed few and made me sit down on the sofa.

"Drink this," he pushed a vial in my hand while pouring from another one to the swabs in his hands. I refused, not knowing what it was and he stopped what he was doing, amber eyes flaming. 

"Let me heal you. This is what I used to do, before I learned to banish daemons. Now drink it. It will keep the pain away for a while when I clean the wounds from the poison and try to fix you," he said breathing in, trying to be patient with me.

As I downed the vial, the bitter taste lingered in my mouth and I slumped down on the sofa, feeling slightly limp. However, I couldn't feel the pain anymore like he had promised, and I watched him work as if this hadn't been my arm, my flesh already wide open in his hands. 

The wounds were worse now, and I realized how deep they actually were, oozing blood and something else now. Looked nasty. Poison, he had said?

He lifted my leg, taking the long boot off and throwing it away, repeating the motion with the other one. He grabbed edge of my trousers and told me bluntly to lift my butt and then to turn slightly.

As I desperately tried to figure out how my legs and body worked, he already pulled my trousers off and continued to clean the wound in my hip. It should have bothered me, to be here in front of him wearing just my socks, panties and the corset now.

I felt my already hazy consciousness begin to drift away. The last thing I knew before passing out was that he was pouring liquid from yet another bottle to my wounds, working frantically.

Next time I woke up, I was in bed, lying on my good side and propped into position with pillows. My other hand and hip were bandaged but otherwise everything was as it had been when I had passed out.

I even wore the same clothes as I had before. "How do you feel," Ardyn asked me quietly, stepping into my view from the chair he had been waiting in. "Am fine," I told him groggily.

"I tried my everything, but you will have some scars in your skin," he said with regret. "You worry about me having some scars?" I asked, incredulous. This was really his greatest worry now?

"I shouldn't have trusted them. You wouldn't have those scars, if I hadn't sent you there. It nearly killed you, that poison," he sounded hoarse, kneeling by the bed on my side and leaning into it.

"You knew they had searched for me earlier. You didn't think I'd come back," I confronted him and he knew full well I was talking about leaving with kingsguard, not about monsters.

"I knew. And yes, I didn't think you'd come back. Why did you really come back," he asked, shaking his head and staring at the sheets. "Because you asked me to," I replied, feeling my burning anger soften as I saw how broken he was. I lifted my hand to his cheek.

He raised his eyes to mine in disbelief, lifting his own hand against mine and leaning into it. "And I promised I would. Remember?" I whispered.

"What else can I get you to do, if I asked," he said in wonder and I laughed. "Depends what you ask. Tread very, very carefully now," I replied bluntly and he laughed too.

"Let me check under the bandages. You've slept almost a full day now," he said, more confident and taking the role of the healer again. I tried to look outside to see the light, but he had pulled all curtains to darken the room.

I realized I was in his bed in the suite, and not in my room. "Just give me a sec, please. I need the bathroom first," I told him and he nodded. He helped me up, ensuring I could stand and walk steadily before leaving me.

I took my time in the bathroom, and when I emerged, I found a fresh set of lingerie on the bed, alongside my old green dress. He was still pointedly away, so I changed, happy that he wasn't there to see my blush.

It felt intimate that he had been to my room and drawer, picking up stuff for me to wear. Not to mention my last day wearing just my panties and the corset. Not that I suspected him of taking any advantage of it while I slept. It just wasn't his style.

He had clearly aimed for my comfort, choosing the old dress for once. I wondered if this was how he'd felt when I had showered him and taken him to bed, or given him clothes after shower.

Oh gods, shower would have been great. Maybe he'd let me have one after checking under the bandages. I felt a little stiff from all the sleep but for my surprise the wounds weren't hurting at all.

I trotted obediently to the sofa, where he was waiting. I was shocked as he removed the first and highest padding, near my shoulder. My skin was much paler and smoother, maybe a bit tighter, like a wide streak had been drawn with a brush.

No gap, no blood, no otherwise nothing to show that my flesh had been neatly torn in a day ago. He opened a small flask, rubbing some ointment to his fingers and then carefully spreading it on the thin new skin.

"You were talking about me having scars," I told him, surprised. Well, I did have lots already, inside. But here I had expected rough, pointedly red ridges like Gladiolus had in his skin. And later, much later. This was as if they almost hadn't been there. This was like a miracle.

He looked at me, frowning. "Like I said, you do. And it's all my fault," he said, voice thick. "Ardyn. You healed me. It's not your fault. You helped me," I told him, emphasizing every last word.

He was already working on the lower part in my arm, and the way I said his name clearly had an effect on him. He sighed frustrated, still not fully convinced. As he finished with my arm, I felt suddenly really conscious about the last bandage.

He seemed to share the feeling, not meeting my eyes as he raised the hem of my dress, revealing my skin inch by inch and then carefully taking the last bandage off. As he was done brushing in the medicine, his fingers lingered on the thin new skin and he stared at it.

And then he leaned forward and kissed it. His warm lips brushed the edges of the scar, the top of it and traveling down to my thigh. Every time his lips found a new spot to land, I could feel the familiar electricity grow between us.

He found my inner thigh, holding it gently in his hands, sinking his mouth on it and flicking his tongue to taste my skin. I gasped with the feeling and he raised his eyes to mine, pupils so black with desire I could barely see the amber ring around them.

He pressed another kiss down, watching me melt some more and smiling that dangerous half-smile of his. He stopped, pulled away and sat down next to me, still watching as I tried to drown the feeling of begging him not to stop.

When he lifted his hands to my neck, leaning in to kiss me, pulling me closer, he watched me. My eyes closed, as I sunk in the kiss. Feeling his lips against mine, our breaths became faster, and we squirmed closer to each other.

My hands sank in his hair, pulling him closer. It was like a flame would have been ignited to a wildfire between us and I wanted him more than ever before.

He lifted me up to his lap, and I knew he wouldn't back off this time. As his teeth grazed my neck, I moaned out his name and I could feel him smile on my skin before he changed back to the tongue and lips.

I began to search for the buttons in his shirt, my fingers agile as I wanted to feel his bare skin under my hands. As I pulled the shirt away, he raised his arms up and as soon as they were free, wrapped them around me again.

I loved his bare skin. As I ran my fingers and nails near his spine, drawing them up, it was his turn to groan and push harder against me. His hands found my hips, pulling me closer to his groin. "I need you," he whispered, eyes closed, hands rising up to my waist.

"I'm not on birth control anymore," I remembered in desperation. My body was screaming for him now, and I couldn't imagine the torment if he stopped now. But he had to.

"That is the least of your problems since I can't sire any children. I am too... my condition is..." he started to say and then seemed to rephase something in his mind, not being satisfied with the result and eventually just dropped it.

"It's okay. I just need to be sure," I told him back. "Do you really want me?" He asked, slightly hesitating. "I do," I said and his insecurity passed. He lifted me up effortlessly and carried to the bedroom, laying me down. 

He took off my dress, stopping to watch in awe my body, kissing my stomach and moving up to my breasts. As he opened my bra, I tried to get to open his pants. I could feel him pushing hard against the fabric and my hand. 

He groaned against my skin, hurrying to get me fully naked now. I pushed down his trousers and pants, his member eagerly springing free. He stopped just to get fully out of pants, before returning to my embrace.

"I want you," he growled. I could feel him writhing against me and he continued. "I didn't want to hurry our first time," he whispered. "I know. But I want you too, so bad," I answered and changed my angle so that he just slid in. I was already wet and trembling with desire, and it felt so good to have him there.

As we began to move together, finding the rhythm, I was done in just few more moments. I had needed this so much, it was as if we had done this million times before and he knew exactly what to do. As I writhed under him, still moving in the peak of my pleasure, he grinned knowingly at my sighs.

"That fast, huh," he said teasingly. I ignored him and kept moving, still feeling the ecstasy and it shut him up, as he remembered his place. He took me hard, pushing and pulling himself into me relentlessly, and then beginning to shake, coming inside me with a groan.

He slumped against me, kissing my lips, hand resting on my breast. He looked in my eyes, and propped himself more comfortably on his elbows, still inside me. "Marry me," he asked huskily. "Please," he added as my eyes widened and I realized what he was saying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, is now a good time to remind that my posting schedule might change soon? :'D


	13. Chapter 13

As if some madness had taken me over, I heard myself telling him back yes.

This scared the hell out of me. 

It felt so wrong and right and completely mad, but as he kept telling me "I love you," over and over again, eyes shining with joy, it began to feel right. I hadn't realized before how much I wanted to be with him, but when we were together, everything was always better. I had never met anyone like him.

In a few moments later we had gotten up to shower before returning to bed. That too, had been wonderful together, our hands on each other as we washed each other without any hurry.

"I'm sorry," he apologized afterwards, lying naked in bed next to me. "What for," I asked drowsily. "For not asking to marry me before taking you," he replied seriously, turning his eyes to me.

Oh, how very unexpectedly old-fashioned from him. I slithered back to his arms. "I don't mind," I told him honestly and leaned my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

"Well I mind. There's so much you don't know about me. I'm afraid you will end up hating me," he sighed, stroking my hair. "I tried to stay away, but I couldn't. So terribly selfish of me to fall for you," he whispered, looking anxiously at the ceiling.

"You are not all bad," I said to him. He was so burdened by something and still he couldn't tell it all to me. And yet he wanted to be with me.

"I'm way worse than you think. My heart has gotten black long ago. And still you found that remaining glimpse of old me," he replied. "What matters is that it is still there," I whispered and pressed my palm against his heart.

It was true, I knew he was sometimes evil and a cruel man. What other people didn't know was that this wasn't all of him. He was doing a very good job hiding it even from himself.

He leaned forward to kiss me. "Feels like I have waited for thousand years to find you," he said when he pulled away, finger absent-mindedly drawing patterns to my skin. "If I had found you when I was younger, perhaps everything had been different."

I shook my head in disbelief. After everything that had happened, I didn't think I wanted to change a single thing. Except that losing my father. I wondered if he would have approved of my choice to marry Ardyn.

"Tell me," he urged me curiously, seeing that I was thinking. And I told him. "I think your father would have been way more thrilled about you dating someone like that young and reliable mr. Scientia," Ardyn chuckled.

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you not reliable enough for me?" I asked him. "Not nearly, if I must compare myself to him. Though in all fairness, very few people probably could. And certainly there is difference between our age," he said smiling.

"Although I am trying to improve. I paid your first pay before you left on Vesperpool. And I have arranged the ingredients for your magic flasks. I will permit no more wounds like that on you," he said, brushing lightly my left arm and still healing skin.

"I don't think it has been a full month yet, when I came to work for you," I argued. "Not exactly. But I couldn't let you possibly leave penniless," he whispered and kissed my neck.

"By the way, you're fired," he said to my ear and I freaked out. I could feel his half-smile again. "What," I rose up. "My future wife won't be my bodyguard. Slash assistant," Ardyn smiled lazily. "I wasn't your bodyguard for once!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, you were. You stood to protect me against that iron giant. Or at least, what remained of it. Plus in theory when we flew between Gralea and Lucis," he said. "Never heard such a bullshit," I shook my head in disbelief and he couldn't help himself laughing.

He got up and walked over to his drawers, searching for something. He came back and kneeled by the bed on one knee, stark naked. However, my attention was drawn to a small black velvet box he opened in front of me.

"I want to ask you one more time again. Will you accept this ring as a symbol of my love for you and become my wife?" The ring was the most beautiful signet ring I had ever seen. 

Ardyn told that the ring was made of platinum, not silver, as if that had mattered to me. It looked like it was made and decorated for kings. The letters A, L and C were melted into a stylish and very unusual artistic pattern.

"Are these your initials," I asked dumbly and he laughed huskily. "Yeah. My real surname isn't actually Izunia," he answered and shrugged his shoulders as if it wasn't relevant information. I gave him my left hand and he slid the ring in my finger, kissing it.

"It is too big for you," he murmured, sliding his fingers between mine, feeling the ring. "I'll take it to be corrected into right size, and then it will be permanently yours," he promised and I pulled him to bed, engaging him in a kiss that lead to so much more. 

Next day, we were walking in the woods, and Ardyn seemed to know exactly where he was going. Soon we saw a haven, and natural sources of magic manifesting in elements.

I could hardly believe my eyes when Ardyn drew the energy fully clean from one spot without blinking an eye. He moved to next, did the same effortlessly and next after that. "How," was all that came out of my mouth. 

He turned to me with a smile, lifting his other hand and I could see his fingertips sparkle briefly with lightning before it disappeared. "Think about your new ring," he hinted.

"If your surname is LC... No way," I did the math and couldn't believe it. It could not possibly be. He walked back to me, lifting my chin and forced my gaze to his.

"My real name is Ardyn Lucis Caelum," he smiled like a devil, enjoying my shock. "Although you have to keep this secret close to your heart, for now," he added.

"I think I will stick to my own surname for now," I gasped and he took the opportunity to kiss me. "You do that, my dear," he breathed to my ear before taking a step back and towards the car.

"Wait, won't we bottle the energy on the haven," I asked, pointing towards it. That's what I had always done with Noctis. "No. I can't go there," Ardyn said and I heard regret and sorrow in his voice.

"The remains of daemonic energies in me make it very painful for me to be there," he explained and the runes in the stone seemed to glow brighter the closer he went.

"Let's rather drive straight to Galdin Quay and finish there," he suggested as we turned back towards the direction to his car. We had taken some luggage along, and this was to be our minivacation and honeymoon.

Yesterday evening he had called the judge, mayor of Lestallum, owner of the hotel, some bankers and several lawyers to Leville's conference room and asked them to witness the short ceremony between us.

We had been officially declared man and wife. I would've waited longer with our engagement and I secretly wondered why such important witnesses were necessary. Ardyn had simply answered that he meant to protect my future and do it as soon as possible.

However he had arranged a beautiful festive dinner afterwards and I had enjoyed it even with these strangers, Ardyn entertaining as a perfect host and on his best behaviour.

I wondered how Ravus, Noctis and the kingsguard would take our news. I feared that they would be all shitting sideways, all for slightly different reasons. Not single one of them liked him. None of them would be happy for me and I kinda wondered if this had been a mother of all mistakes.

But then again, I knew no one else had seen him for a long while like I had, since he seemed to repel people on purpose. I loved it that he knew how to be thoughtful and kind. And he was so clever and witty, his humour fast and sharp. He was very attractive and the age difference between us didn't really matter to me. Physically I had never felt such a spark and energy with anyone else.

"How are you doing," he gently nudged my thigh in the car. We were practically flying on the road, as we sped forward. "A little confused," I admitted freely. "It's all happened so fast," I told him and he knew I wasn't thinking about his driving.

"I know. But I'm asking you to trust me, please. My plan is to take care of you and ensure your well-being in a long run. I think you have already lost enough," he answered.

"What's your real relation to Lucis Caelum family? I know you cannot be of an immediate family," I blurted out one of the questions that had been burning in my mind. "You're right. But I will tell you, when the time is right," he admitted. 

"My darling, isn't it enough that you are the queen of my heart," he asked lightly and I couldn't tell again if he was joking about something. He knew I hadn't meant that.

"Why do you have to be all mysterious and about riddles," I sulked. He sighed, growing more serious and glimpsed at me. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, your secrets kill," I fumed. He nodded and I took it as a silent yes.

When we arrived at Galdin Quay, there was an imperial unit blocking the way into the valley. "What the..." I asked in astonishment. A steady flow of cars was leaving the area.

"What's the fun of being high chancellor of the empire, if I can't take advantage of it, when I really want to," Ardyn smirked and slowed down enough that magitek units recognized us and let us pass.

"Worry not, I paid a very handsome rent for arranging the place just for us two for now. The roadblock is only there to make sure the outsiders will respect our privacy. The cook and one of the men in service will stay in caravan in case we want something," he told.

We parked in the empty parking lot, and Ardyn led me to the bridge, holding my hand. "Cheer up, my dear. I want you to be happy and enjoy yourself. This time is meant for us alone, free of our duties. I remember the first time I met you in here," he said and kissed my cheek.

I couldn't stay mad at him and I hugged him. He held me back, rubbing my neck with his short stubble. Well, there was one thing I could take care of.


	14. Chapter 14

He had really planned this all out. When we arrived, no one was in sight. The keys had been left pointedly on the middle counter, and Ardyn grabbed them although I suspected there wouldn't be much need for them. 

He suggested we'd change into more comfortable clothes, and I agreed. He was eager to trade his usual layered vests and shirts into a simple dark graphite-grey dress shirt and black trousers, which were probably his most relaxed clothes.

They reminded me of the first dinner we had shared. He had been handsome then, and not any less now. So I dug into my bag, and searched the simple black dress I had worn on the second evening, when we had met and I had agreed to work for him.

As I finished changing, I could feel his hands slither around me and he pulled me closer, kissing my neck. "I think you should change your necklace, my darling," he rumbled and I turned around distressed, hand on my choker. I loved it.

He produced a box seemingly out of nowhere, and opened it for me. In a thin, simple chain was resting a clear tear-shaped diamond. I had never seen anything reflecting light like that. It seemed to glow brighter than light in some angles and in others deep dark shades of blue and violet.

"It's beautiful," I gasped. Ardyn's hands were already working on the lock, changing the heavy choker into the light silvery dream. As I walked to the mirror, he borrowed my left hand and added the signet ring, now in right size.

"Now your looks are whole," he muttered quietly as I kept wondering about the image in the mirror. "This is too much," I turned to him. I loved it all, but it must've cost him insane amounts of money. My desperation made him chuckle.

"Nonsense. What kind of man can't spoil his wife every now and then," he laughed. I had no answer to that, so I just lifted my hands gently to his face and kissed him. When I let go, he smiled. "Good to know you like them," he winked, clearly satisfied.

"We have some time before dinner. Which leads to another gift from me. We could finish up the magic flasks, and you'd never be protectionless from now on," he suggested and this time it was easier to nod. 

Before I knew it, my new bracelet was filled to the brim with limit breaking flares, freeze- and electon magics. Some of them healed me during casting, some of them bent time or status ailments for my benefit. With this, I could take down armies or mountain-sized enemies.

"My darling, I believe you are now most dangerous woman on Eos, as long as you live. And why shouldn't you, since these will probably be enough for a lifetime," Ardyn smiled when we were done.

"I just hope you won't zap me back to Gralea the next time I'm late from dinner," he joked with his usual half-smile. "Nope. But I will, if I catch you cheating me," I winked at him, making a face and he pretended scared, making me laugh in turn.

"Seriously, I think it's time for us to go to our dinner. Shall we," he pulled me up and we left the room. Meanwhile the dusk was arriving, and the inside of Mother's pearl had been lit with soft lights, tables moved slightly to the side and lavishly decorated with flowers, mainly strong-scented blood-red roses.

Ardyn led me to the set table with a perfect view to the ocean, even pulling the chair for me like a true gentleman. "Thank you," I told him and he smiled brightly back, sitting down by my side. In a moment Coctura was coming to serve us wine and iced water.

As she realized who I was, she nearly dropped the water. "Congratulations to the newlyweds," she gasped and recovered surprisingly quickly. "Thank you," I nodded and she already poured us drinks. 

I had never thought myself I'd end up here with him, and even less as his wife. Still, he'd made me happy. Life was truly strange sometimes.

Coctura had prepared a wonderful tasting menu for us, proudly presenting us each bite as she served us the food. Everything was delicious, and after we finished, she took our dishes and left. 

We had this place all for ourselves again, only some soft music playing in the background and lights dimmed. Ardyn got up, offering his hand. So I took it and we walked together down to the docks.

"Did you know how much I like this place," I asked him with a smile. Somewhere in the water I saw a few flashes of bright blue light. It was as if even the fishes were special here, adding their own magic in the night.

"No, but I kind of guessed," he replied lightly, close by my side. I went closer, until I was in his arms. He grinned, and closed his arms around me. 

"Thank you for all of this. Everything has been lovely, and you really saw effort with it all," I said and leaned to kiss him. "You're welcome, my dear," he whispered huskily and kissed me in turn.

I couldn't have enough of him, and the kiss deepened. I held his waist and pulled him towards our room and he came happily, getting the hint and still not breaking the spell of our kiss for a moment.

Then suddenly he scooped me up, making me yelp as I ended up on his arms and he carried me to our bedroom. He laid me down on the bed, stripped me, crawling on top himself and beginning to attack my neck with his mouth.

As my hands were busy undoing the buttons on his shirt, he bit my neck gently, making a lovebite and having me already moaning. I pushed his shirt down, guiding him to turn and it was my time to have fun, kissing my way down from his chin to his chest, and continuing down to his stomach.

My hands were busy too, working on opening his trousers. As I freed him, kissing his tip, it was his turn to stifle a moan. I teased him by planting light kisses on his shaft, licking it all around and caressing his balls until I gave him mercy. I took him in my mouth, sucking and moving my tongue underneath while sinking him in more and more, as far as he went.

"Please," he groaned as I stopped and watched him. I began my move, first very slowly and once he tried to push hard forward, I pulled back a little and stopped, just to show I was calling the shots this time. Then I continued, finding my rhythm and slowly speeding up, using my hand to massage his balls and another to form a tight ring around the base of his shaft.

When he was near, I could feel him trying to resist the urge to let go. So I gave him my everything, until he writhed. "Please," he breathed and I pushed the vein underneath him harder than before with my tongue, doing everything harder, deeper and he exploded in my mouth, growling.

And I took it all, still sucking, swallowing and moving my tongue around him. I didn't let him be until he stilled, breathing raggedly. And for the first time ever I heard him swear, still moaning.

I kept licking him lazily, satisfied about the way he had come. He had for sure felt the fireworks this time. As our eyes met, they were like dark honey. "Let's switch. I'd like to try out something. Do you trust me," he rumbled with a low, sexy voice. I nodded, not trusting my voice now. 

He dropped his trousers on the floor, found the red scarf he liked to wear on his neck and tied my hands to the headboard of the bed with it. He tested it gently himself, pulling a little to see I couldn't get loose, but checking it didn't hurt my hands.

"Now then," he whispered and kissed my lips, and I wondered if I was going to be in trouble and in big one. After one long hot gaze, he turned me around to my stomach.

His hands were touching my neck, adding some pressure on his thumbs and began to move over my shoulders. From there he returned back to my spine, beginning to trace their way down without any hurry. His hands found the small of my back, and climbed up to my bottom. His hands traced all the way down my feet, stopping at my toes.

He raised my other foot, holding my ankle and kissing it. Moment later he let it down, hands beginning to move slowly up as his mouth began to follow on my skin. As he reached my butt, I could feel teeth on my butt cheek and a bite mixed with his kisses before he continued his way back up. 

As he reached my shoulderblades, I could feel his tongue. All the while his hands were busy, gently rubbing my sides or my bottom. And then he turned me around on my back. 

He kissed my cheek, moving to my lips, grinning as my mouth eagerly opened for a deeper kiss. As his tongue left mine, involuntary sigh escaped from me and I could feel his silent laugh.

He continued his burning trail of kisses, but avoided my breasts, hands sliding over them just briefly. The same way he moved from my lower stomach, sticking on the skin of my hips and moving down to my thighs. I could feel the anticipation growing in me with every time his hands moved on me. 

He had reached again my feet, and he carefully studied every curve with his fingers before surprising me, licking my arch. "Such small feet," he sighed and once again began the ascent, this time moving on the inner side of my shin. He opened my feet, mouth exploring deliciously my thigh as his another hand found my butt cheek again and I tried hard to stay still.

His eyes returned to mine, gauging my status. He planted on kiss on me, light as a butterfly, still watching and this time I almost begged aloud. His tongue circled me around, slowly and carefully before retreating again. The tongue found my entrance and with a single swipe up, he knew exactly how aroused I already was.

I couldn't stop squirming as he got up. He bent to lick my breast all around, hand gently rubbing another one. As his mouth latched on my nipple, sucking and licking, I thought I'd lose my mind in the sensation as his another hand moved between my legs.

A single long finger slid over my clit, teasing. The pattern was just enough to slide over my most sensitive spot, but never staying there. "Ardyn," my mouth betrayed me. "Hmmm?" He lifted his eyes, his mouth still twirling on my nipple. "Please," I sighed in need.

He flashed an evil smile at me, moving to settle his head between my thighs and then licking me once, a long one all the way from down to up. "More?" He rumbled to me. "Yes," I moaned. "Yes what?" He asked again. "Yes please," I practically begged and this time he replied with his tongue.

Every movement took my pleasure higher, this time concentrated on every right place in my core. I couldn't hold still anymore, and he moved his hands to hold me as he wanted to. His grip wasn't hurting, but it was made of iron and I couldn't squirm against him anymore.

He sped up, now fucking me crudely with his tongue and I couldn't take anymore, exploding in his mouth and calling his name out loud. I didn't know anymore if I pleaded him to continue or stop, as I shook with pleasure, my back arching and his tongue was still there.

I shivered and he planted one more kiss on me, before crawling on top of me. "Good girl," he whispered approvingly on my ear before attacking my neck again. I could feel him pushing hard against me. 

"More?" He asked with a smile. "More," I agreed.


	15. Chapter 15

Our night and next day were feeling like paradise. We ate and slept when we felt like it, made love insatiably, every time finding something new of each other and the spark igniting over and over again. Smallest touches burst into flames between us, leaving us repeatedly afterwards gasping and shaking in each others embraces.

I spent some part of morning sunbathing in our terrace, every now and then going for a swim, enjoying the clear water and the warmness of sun. He was lying in a chair right beside me in the shadow of the terrace, reading a book and relaxing himself.

On a whim, I asked him to join me. And for my surprise, he grinned wolfily, threw away his clothes on the spot and dove head first into the water, shaking his head as he emerged, making the drops fly all around from his hair before splashing water on me. 

We were always close to each other, touches feeling now effortless, sharing kisses, talking about everything. For once he wasn't being imperial chancellor, but only my lover now.

In the evening dinner Ardyn grew very serious again, staring at his glass for a good while, and I knew he had something big to tell me.

"Listen. I will have to leave for a while to take care of things in Altissia and Gralea. I would like you to drive my car back to Lestallum and wait for me there, until I come back," Ardyn explained with a grave tone. 

"Can't I go with you," I begged, leaning closer to hold his hand, sliding my fingers between his. "Not this time, my dear. I'd just end up neglecting you by working long days. A big operation is up," he said, stroking my hand.

"So when are you leaving," I asked in despair. "Early tomorrow morning. I will take the aircraft with the MT unit to save some time. We still have this night together. I don't know exactly when I will be back. Depends how it goes. So, do you promise me," he demanded.

"Fine," I replied rather unwillingly, but he seemed satisfied enough. The thing was, something about this was fishy. Maybe it was the way he asked me to promise to wait at Lestallum. The way his shoulders eased? These two days had been so perfect together. Could something be too perfect, I doubted in my mind. I had a feeling as if he was saying goodbye.

The rest of the evening passed way too quickly, now that he had told he was about to go. He seemed to want to do the one of the things we had never done before, rising up and offering his hand, surpringly asking me to dance. I wasn't a bad dancer, but as he steadily led my steps, I noticed he was much better than me.

I enjoyed the music, and being on his arms. I could see again the feeling was mutual, the way his eyes shined and he laughed, when he spun me around. It made me wish we had done this too, sooner. 

When we danced, he seemed younger and more carefree than ever before. Now I too wondered how it would have felt like to date young Ardyn. I imagined he was just as passionate, and I felt a pang of jealousy about the ladies he must have had on his heels.

But then again, I knew he had dedicated his life to healing before his career ended, and then he began his rise in politics. Always a workaholic, and not in a small measure. He had a brilliant, sharp mind and I admired it. I supposed this was his first actual marriage, after all.

"I can feel you are thinking about something again," he suddenly whispered in my ear with a low voice, making me jump and he laughed. 

"I was thinking about how it would have felt like dancing and being with young you," I confessed, blushing. "Trying not to imagine the hordes of pretty girls chasing you."

He smiled, still moving in slow rhythm and pulling me closer to himself. "Sure, there were some," he admitted thoughtfully. "I just didn't know if they really wanted me or what I represented, whereas my brother wasn't slightest bit bothered with such a things," he said with some distaste.

"You have a brother?" I was surprised. He had never mentioned him before. "I had a brother," he nodded stiffly. "Oh, I'm sorry," I breathed. "No need to be," he answered and I understood they hadn't been on friendly terms.

"I didn't think I'd find anyone, not anymore," he said quietly, changing the subject back. "I didn't even want to, and there you still are, my dear," he wondered, caressing my cheek and making me melt once again under his warm gaze.

"I love you," I whispered, looking at his eyes. I had never really said it out loud before, and saying it felt like my last fortress of defence crumbling down, leaving me open wide and losing last bit of control when it came to him. 

He was still the most complex, exciting and dangerous person I had ever met, and surrendering my heart and soul to him still scared me. Yet he already had them both, whether I wanted it anymore or not. 

I didn't know when we had stopped dancing. We were there, time seeming to stand still along with us, as he held me close to his chest. I didn't want him to leave tomorrow. I never wanted him to leave. I felt his steady heartbeats as he said, "I know, my love."

He was gone by the time I woke up in the morning. The first rays of light were just about to show in the sky. It was as if they had stolen him away from me. I thought I had felt his kiss and a hand sweep lightly my arm still some time ago. 

It felt so empty without him here. He had told me to stay as long as I wanted, but it just wasn't the same. So I began to prepare for leaving, soon hitting the road and seeing the resort already turning to normal, passing first cars where the roadblock had been.

As I drove the car to Lestallum, the feeling kept bugging me. Why couldn't I go with him, when he had taken me to Gralea on last time, too? It wasn't like he had kept me much company there either.

He was hiding something, and I thought over and over again what could it be. Surely something that I wouldn't approve. But why had it seemed so important to him that I'd stay in Lestallum? When I arrived there, I parked the car in his usual place, and went back to the suite with the bags. 

I called first to the tailors who had done most of my new clothes and my fighting gear. I knew they must have had almost ready prototypes from Ardyn's designs at hand, when my final gear had been ordered. Turned out I was right, and I asked for their address so I could pick up a new jacket and a pair of trousers.

I had already stopped by to agree with the owner of Leville that the suite and my old room would be kept reserved for me and Ardyn until we came back, just like before and no matter what it cost. 

There I had changed my beautiful necklace back to the heavy silver choker, mentally preparing for next part of my plan. I made sure to have the signet ring and my bracelet too, on me. Packing the remaining things was easy and I left everything extra in my old room.

By the time I reached the address the tailor had given me, I had called Ravus, too. We had been having a long and tough conversation as I pulled for my favour owed, and I knew he wasn't happy about the thing I asked. But he eventually agreed to help me out.

Apparently Ardyn had been as generous as demanding to the group of people dealing with my clothing. I could even choose what I wanted, and the tailor would have seemed eager to give me moon from the sky if I had just asked for it.

But I picked two pieces most similar to my old ones, feeling glad that the black jacket was slightly heavier. As I tried it on, tailor saw the patches of paler skin of my left hand and I could see him realize now what had happened old ones, face growing horrified.

I had to stifle the flood of apologies by describing the creature and its claws, telling they'd have cut through stronger stuff too. I changed my clothes fully to the gear, once again wearing all black.

Then there was the argument of money, for which I didn't really have time. The tailor didn't want to accept anything since his last creation had failed me, and I couldn't agree in turn. I ended up writing a fitting sum in my own opinion and pushed the check in the his hand, grabbing my bag and heading out.

The airship was already waiting for me right outside the city border. It was just small unit, but Ravus had arranged it to be one of a faster models and I blessed his heart. 

As I boarded, the pair of human pilots greeted me with some unexpected respect. I wondered what Ravus had said in his orders when he had called in turn to nearest base.

I cleared the takeoff. 

Now I was finally on my own way to Altissia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How does it feel?
> 
> Trying to deliver some light and calm before the storm.


	16. Chapter 16

When we arrived at Altissia, it was clear hell was loose here in whole city. Fighting, chaos and fires were everywhere, forces of Accordo against the Empire and the remaining civilians were desperately trying to flee for their lives.

I could see in the distance a large area surrounded by a wall of water and faint flashes of blue somewhere near the broken thing that looked like an altar of some kind. It had to be Noctis warping. I could see Leviathan herself too, squirming angrily above the raging waters.

"There! You need to take me there," I pointed the place. When the pilots stuttered back to me they wouldn't and couldn't fly there, I lost it. I didn't have time for their insubordinance now.

I growled at them. "I know exactly the right place to snap both of your pathetic scaredycat spines, making you morons living corpses and I will serve your still-alive asses myself as an offering to the Tidemother. Or then you can fly me there. Right. Now!"

They were really scared now, looking at me and then at each other, quietly making a split-second decision to rather die accidentally in the air than for sure by my hand. "Yes madam," they answered briskly, took the direction and after a more or less bumpy ride, they lowered the vessel enough for me to jump out.

I wasn't still close enough to altar, but I couldn't take chances with Leviathan. She wasn't to be as easily fooled as those pilots and definitely not with mere words. If Noctis and Luna were having trouble with her, there wasn't much I could do to help.

Then I saw Gladio ahead, trying to force his way through the endless hordes of MT soldiers while protecting a civilian. I made a run, yelling them to jump aside as I unleashed flare on the magitek soldiers.

All in the front rows bursted, rest writhing in the sea of flames until they were all down. "Thanks," he yelled and continued his frantic run, turning away to another direction and guiding the confused person with him. 

Now I could see Ardyn by the altar, standing in a threatening way in front of Lunafreya. I could see him laugh maliciously and something shined wickedly in his hand. A dagger. I saw his purpose, praying in my mind it wouldn't be like that, but the terrible feeling didn't subside.

I watched in horror, screaming him to stop as my feet were taking me closer as fast as they could, flying on the rubble. And still it wasn't enough, as the blade in his hand swung mercilessly in Lunafreya.

When he pulled it out, she crumbled to the ground, while Noctis was watching in a distance, helpless himself. "No!" I heard my own screams, one after another, echoing in my ears as I still ran.

I couldn't hear the short exchange following between Lunafreya and Ardyn. As I reached them, I huffed and stepped between them, guarding Noct's betrothed from any further harm.

For a second the look on Ardyn's face changed and he was about to say something to me. Then it passed, Ardyn was back to the coldest version of himself, smirking to Lunafreya behind me. "Remember," he told her, gold flashing dangerously in his eyes.

"Now, my dear. Come with me," he turned his gaze to me as his aircraft waited behind him. He could see the amounts of magitek soldiers I had slain as I had cut my path, knowing I had ended up fighting against his empire.

Still he silently reached his hand to me, willful eyes beckoning me to go with him. I thought my heart would tear apart in million pieces and I could feel the tears pouring uncontrollably on my cheeks. "No," I told him, voice breaking. I couldn't leave them now.

"Very well," he answered nonchalantly and turned to leave as my knees gave out and I fell down. I watched the aircraft take off immediately as he disappeared into it. He didn't look back, and I turned to check on Lunafreya. Behind my back, she was already in action herself, despite the pain and her injury.

She lifted her trident, already calling for power of ancient kings to aid her beloved Noctis. And he rose up to fight again with new strength, soon cutting one of the goddess's fins in retaliation. It wasn't yet the end, as he kept punishing her indomitably, until she fell under the roaring waves.

Luna was bleeding, still looking after her fiancé and I hurried to her side, pushing hi-elixir in her hand, and helping her to crush it like her brother had done with me so many times before. I swore aloud as it didn't work, doing it again.

She shook her head, refusing to hold third one. "I'm beyond yours or anybody's help already. Don't waste any more of them on me. Save them for others," she said and I could feel her pain, clear in her voice.

"Listen. I need you to look after him and keep him safe on his journey. He needs to get to the Crystal and ascend. Do you promise me," Lunafreya insisted. "I promise," I told her solemnly.

"Good. I will raise the Titan to protect us for now. I need you to go get a boat or something. When Noctis is done, he needs to get to safety as fast as possible. We will be just fine, if you help us," she said with a royal tone, not having any objections from me.

So I accepted her command and left. As I returned later, I cursed endlessly my stupidity. Ravus was kneeling by Ignis's and Noct's side, another one of them badly hurt and another fully unconscious.

Yet I didn't think he had done this. I saw his grief, and not a single sign of contempt or revenge. Ravus got up and walked over to me, while Prompto and Gladiolus hurried forward to check injuries of Noct and Ignis.

"What happened," I asked him, shocked. "Everything failed. My sister is dead," he said and looked away to the sea, avoiding my eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough. It is my fault," I apologized from the bottom of my heart and I could feel the tears fall again as I bowed for him. But he shook his head.

"No. Your friend made me see some reason and I know exactly whom to blame now," he said sharply, standing straigher now. "I will do my everything to get them to justice." Something about his cold tone gave me shivers. "Ravus..." I began to say, and yet did not know what to say. 

This time he locked his eyes steadily to mine. "Thank you. I know you tried to help her, even when she couldn't be helped anymore. And back then you watched my back, too. Until we meet again, my friend," he said and embraced me briefly, before turning to leave.

As I turned back to Noct and kingsguard, I saw unconscious Noct already lifted to Gladio's arms. Ignis was up, dishevelled, missing his glasses and leaning heavily to Prompto. I saw the strange silvery wounds around Ignis's eyes, and as I realized he couldn't see, I rushed to their help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that made me stop writing this story before.
> 
> Feedback would be welcome. What can I do better? Does it make sense at all?
> 
> I realize why having a beta would be so handy.


	17. Chapter 17

Those few days that we spent recovering in Altissia were just plain horrible.

Noct kept sleeping as much as he could, isolating himself from us and everybody else. I could understand. He was trying to escape into the world where his loved one could still be alive, and still his own.

Ignis was being treated and his condition studied by best doctors in Accordo. He was trying to come to terms with his blindness, which was hoped to be only temporary. He was clearly bothered by something else too, but refused to speak about it. My best guess was that it somehow had to involve Noctis closely. Another thing he wouldn't share was what kind of accident had led into his blindness.

Gladio was just plain angry. About everything, and I mean everything. I guess he couldn't accept that things had been so out of control and that all had gone to hell. So he seethed and fumed.

Prompto was the only one actually trying stay sane and kind to all of us others. Sure, everybody tried to help Ignis as much as possible, but Prompto was there for him the most. Thank goodness.

I just tried to drown my thoughts and feelings. I worried about everyone, but my broken heart kept selfishly bleeding, as Ardyn seemed to be in my mind all the time. I had betrayed my loved one by chasing after him, but then again he had betrayed me too. I just didn't know how much and on how many levels.

It was like a knife constantly twisting in my guts. It hurt all the time. And then there was the huge guilt I felt about failing Noctis and Lunafreya. Ignis too. So many thoughts in my head now began with the words, 'if only...'

When Prompto had spied a ring in my finger, he had squaled in horror, covering his mouth and taking a step back, pointing the hand. And of course Gladio had come to see what caused his horror, and almost reacted the same way. "Don't tell me you and that bastard..." he roared to me and I nodded miserably.

"Why," Prompto whined and I rolled my eyes sarcastically back at him. "Because I fell in love with him. Not with all of things that he is, but believe it or not, he does have some good sides," I said defensibly. "Not," I heard Prompto mutter by himself.

"So are you spying for him," Gladio asked in doubt. "Do you think I would have fried those green-faced creeps away from you like I did, if I was a spy," I asked him steadily back and he turned away frowning, lifting his hands to rub his hair.

"You and high commander surely seemed close," I heard Ignis's deep voice inquire from the door and all of our heads turned towards him, as he entered the room, sweeping the floor with his white stick and searching for a chair.

He found one, gently pushing away Prompto's helping hand and pulled it for himself, sitting down. "He was originally signed up to be sparring with me. It ended up more like he was training me." I looked at Gladio, since I knew he especially remembered Ravus's strength and he scoffed, knowing perfectly well what I thought.

"And eventually... well, I didn't really consider us friends for some time. But in his own way, he was very kind to me." I finished up and Ignis looked very thoughtful. "You know, he actually turned against the empire," Ignis told and I gasped in surprise.

Now I worried even more about Ravus's well-being. As if it wasn't already doomed attempt to exact revenge on Ardyn, which it had to be, and he would have to cut through the whole forces of empire too. Like we probably did. Too bad he hadn't joined our ranks.

"From what I saw, he was a rather decent man despite his past mistakes. Which can't be really said about your husband. Too bad you didn't marry the high commander," Ignis muttered and I could hardly be offended by his words. I had thought the same thing few times.

He got up, walked over to me with the help of his stick again and sat down on front of me. He reached for me, and as I gave him my hand, he soon touched the ring, studying it very carefully with his fingertips. Without a word, he rose up again and left the room.

Prompto and Gladiolus were clearly bothered around me now, so I left too. I hoped the awkwardness would pass soon. A little later I would probably go to see Noctis. It was time that we too, had the tough talk.

Ignis had already seen some trouble for me and prepared at least some of my way,. When I felt ready for another challenge, I knocked and entered Noct's room, I saw he was there too, sitting by the bed.

"Hey," I said, feeling shy now. I didn't want to make things any worse now, and it scared me. Both of them nodded at me to let me know they were listening.

Instead of bowing, I ended up on my knees. "Noct, I am so sorry I failed you. And not only you, but your fiancé and your closest advisor too. My deepest apologies," I breathed and tried not to cry, staring at the carpet.

"Is it true you married chancellor Izunia?" Noct asked me out of blue. He didn't seem interested about my apologies. "Yes," I answered, biting my tongue not to correct him, telling that he much preferred to be called by his first name, at least by me. "Do you really love him," he continued.

"I... do." And I could really say that still in present. It just didn't bring me happiness anymore. Not after what he had done. These people weren't my blood family, but I thought them now as a family nonetheless and they were simply untouchable.

"And you still want to come with us. Why," he asked seriously. "Because I swore to lady Lunafreya to keep you safe amongst other things. I don't want to fail another time. And now I need some answers from my husband." To be exact, I needed to know how much he had lied and I had been foolish enough to believe.

"Fine. It's settled then," Noct said with an air of finality, catching both of me and Ignis off guard. "What," I heard Ignis ask. Apparently the conversation hadn't gone at all like he had thought it would and I agreed.

"You heard me. Now, both of you, leave me alone," Noct answered and I left swiftly in silence, while Ignis still stayed behind.

Things didn't take any better turns when we crossed the ocean to Niflheim soil and boarded the train to Cartanica. It still felt like we all carried storm clouds with us and they were in danger to erupt violently.

Gladiolus was still angry, refusing to understand Noct's loss and sorrow anymore when he felt like Noct really needed to man up. When he literally pushed Prompto in the train during his argument with Noctis, I understood how on edge we all were.

Things at the way to royal tomb weren't a least bit easier, when we camped in the wilds overnight. It wasn't just the tension, arguments and fights between us. Until now I had been keeping some physical distance on purpose from everybody, except when we were fighting.

When Gladiolus set up the tent, I understood that was about to get a lot harder. I left my things in silence outside the tent. I could sleep by the fire like I had done on the last night near Ravatogh.

As I was the last to sit by the fire in the evening, still staring into its depths, Noctis came back from the tent. He sat by my side, locking his eyes in the same dance of flames that I was watching and for a long time we just sat there together. And for a while the storms passed and we both felt easier.

"You can come to sleep with us," he said quietly. And I realized my reluctance to be close to them wasn't only about being afraid of his reactions or getting his permission. "I miss him," I whispered and I knew he understood what I meant and how I felt.

"So you really fell in love with him," he said and it wasn't a question this time. "I know it doesn't make much sense," I replied. Now I remembered how Ardyn had talked about selfishness when he had proposed. For a moment I thought it was pretty selfish that I had fallen in love with him.

Noct got up in silence and went back to the tent and it was all fine. But I couldn't believe my eyes when he returned. He brought his sleeping bag and pillow with him, making a bed for himself on the other side of the fire.

Perhaps he wanted a break from others too, no matter how much we loved them. "Wanna tell me about her," I whispered carefully to him, and he nodded thoughtfully. I knew he ached for her. A slightest hint of a smile was on his lips, the very first one for days. Then he began to speak on a low voice.


	18. Chapter 18

"Well, hello my darling," I heard familiar voice behind me as I woke up. Ardyn.

I must have been drugged. Felt like as if I had drunk myself silly, but I must have been out a long time. I found myself slumping in a chair, and Prompto was there right across of me, tied up and gagged, sitting in the chair himself and staring at my awakening with growing panic. This place looked like... Zegnautus Keep.

My last clear memory was that I had sat into the booth in the restaurant section of the train. We all had conquered the way to royal tomb together, then returning to board the train headed in Tenebrae as the sun fell down in the horizon. 

Prompto had arrived with a cups of tea, having one himself and passing me another while sitting beside me. I had sipped my tea, chatting with him and gotten so sleepy... and he had smirked, telling me to freely lean on his shoulder. Only now I began to wonder if it really had been Prompto. But how could he...?

"Did you have fun travelling with your toyboys again? I'm afraid I have to put a stop to that. Their journey is about to get really dangerous, you know. You should prepare to the possibility they all might not make it," Ardyn said while walking around and hit Prompto hard in his face.

I barely struggled up from the chair and I tried to set myself between them. My limbs were still barely working and as I got up, I saw double, knowing now the attempt was doomed.

"Well, well, my dear. Turning against your loving husband?" He asked me mockingly, grabbing me. "Let Prompto go," I told him, as he held me effortlessly in his grip and moving me to sit back to the chair.

"Oh, but there is so many things we have to discuss, me and him. And so many things I could do with him. Maybe more like to him. Not in a same sense as you did, though," he narrowed his eyes and moved around me, studying me carefully and laying his hands to rest on Prompto's shoulders. Now he was just trying to provocate me further.

"You were such a naughty girl, wrapping the whole kingsguard around your... hmmm. How should I say this. Little finger," he implied, smiling ferociously.

"And yet you chose to marry me. Does it mean they were not bad enough boys for you, hmm? Or did you want revenge on your king for throwing you out? I feel quite hurt you didn't tell me the truth about your relationship with them..."

"Ardyn, stop. Please, this isn't the real you," I pleaded now and he just laughed. "You were sweet and kind to me. This is just daemons talking," I kept trying in desperation.

He grabbed my chin hard, so hard it hurt and locked his eyes on mine, forcing me to look back at him. "I told you my heart was black. The Ardyn you seek is just a fairytale. This is the real me," he growled now, eyes narrowing as he emphasized every word.

"No. The Ardyn I love is... was... truly worth being a king of Lucis. Caring so much he was ready to carry a burden himself to save his people. Stop lying to yourself. This cruel creature after revenge is not even remotely all you are. The person I chose to love is so much more. That's the Ardyn Lucis Caelum whom I wanted and chose to be my husband." I gasped as he let go, turning away.

For a moment I knew I had managed to shake him as he kept his back at me. "How touching. You should know mere pretty words are not enough to stop my plan. It is already in motion. That is, if your chosen king will survive to his ascension." He turned around now with a sardonic smile.

"Perhaps I could let you stay grounded in my apartment until they arrive. Considering you'd behave should I happen to have time to visit. Even if I can't be killed, I wouldn't like to find kitchen knives in my chest every time I take a step inside my own apartment," Ardyn thought.

"Please, let me take Prompto with me," I asked hastily and it clearly enraged him again. "Isn't it enough that maybe he will stay alive? Isn't it enough that his face reminds me every time that you chose not to come with me but with them," he yelled at me.

"I'm sorry," I said and didn't know even myself to whom out of us three I was really saying it to. However, Ardyn effortlessly bent my hands behind me to a lock and began to walk me into his apartment inside the keep.

As he locked me in, he finally spoke again and his tone had changed once more. "I'm sorry, my dear, but you will have to remain locked in your cage like a bird for now. The keep is no longer safe at all for you to wander around on your own. I will come to get you once they are about to reach the room with Crystal."

He kept his word. He hadn't come to see me once before, but I knew that when he arrived days later, that it was time. Neither of us talked despite the heavy tension between us, and I let him tie my hands back again before leaving the apartment. 

Such a shame. Last time I had been here, our relationship had been a lot happier. Hell, the whole world had been happier. And doing a lot better. Now the flat simply had felt like luxurious cold prison, and I had worried constantly how others were doing, especially Prompto. Who knew what Ardyn had really done with him.

As we reached the room with Crystal, he walked me to the edge of the room, quite near the railing. "You will stay here and witness. You will be immobile and invisible. Don't struggle or I swear I will kill Noctis where he stands. You will get some answers I know you must seek. Do you agree?" He asked me strictly.

I nodded in silence and he raised a vial to my lips. "Drink," he commanded, and I did as he told. It was like my body turned into a rock, and even if I couldn't feel anything, I stood still, quietly observing. There was nothing else I could do.

Still it was painful to see Noctis being absorbed into the Crystal during their straight talk, oblivious to my presence. It pained me to see the monster taking over Ardyn, and still it hurt most to see how my comrades tried to kill him in their rage.

I could understand why they did so, but something in me couldn't see him fall and stay still forevermore. Then again, it gave me creeps, the way he got up and walked away with an air of nonchalantness when he should have lied there still, in the pool of his own blood after those deathblows.

As he walked away from them and me, my body was freed from the spell. As the kingsguard realized my presence, I already had collapsed down on the floor, crying. They lifted me up.

As they tried to take me along, planning to leave this cursed place, I panicked. I refused to leave, still having unfinished business with Ardyn. I couldn't leave yet, not without speaking with him again.

Ignis tried to reason with hysterical me. "He wouldn't have brought you in this room, if he wanted you to stay. You know that. There's nothing we can do here anymore," he explained gently. "No doubt that he will find you, when and if he wants to," Gladio added with grief.

Badly bruised Prompto simply came to me, blue eyes red-rimmed. He must have suffered at his hands, perhaps even more because I had pleaded for him. He held out his hand in silence and offering it to me.

I burst in tears once again, and took it. Thank goodness he was still alive. All of them alive, I thought as I followed hazily his lead, still crying as he kept holding my hand and walking us away.

Ignis held my waist with his left hand, white stick briskly sweeping ahead on his right. Gladiolus led us away, taking initiative on any daemons that crossed us. In fact, there was suspiciously few of them, as we left the Zegnautus Keep.

I was sure it was Ardyn's doing, just like the most conveniently abandoned imperial aircraft right outside. He had gotten what he wanted. And yet I was sure he wasn't nowhere near satisfied yet. Now I knew he needed Noctis back from that Crystal.


	19. Chapter 19

Our trip back to Lucis felt painfully long. The sun didn't rise anymore, or well, at least didn't show through the ever-present darkness. The world had been plunged into black haze.

Only thing that thrived now was daemons. They were making the world their own, while people had to regroup together for survival. Nature already withered more and more every day and I wondered how long until people began dying too.

I remembered when Noctis had told me about his solo trip to Altissia. I thought about the grim future Noct and Lunafreya had seen in her mind, when she had called him for her aid. Seemed like they had only postponed it then. And the dark shadow of the man... we'd come to know him.

We had lost out only hope, our king into the Crystal, without knowledge when or if he'd be back. Who knew. Except that I thought he'd be. Ardyn had certainly seemed to think so and I knew he'd be most eagerly waiting.

I had certainly made a fine choice, falling for two-thousand-year-old bloke, who couldn't die and was ready to do anything for vengeance against Astrals, their judgement and the bloodline they had chosen.

Not that I didn't feel sympathy for him. It was an understatement to say it really sucked what had been done to him. As I suspected, his kingdom had been practically stolen by his very own brother. But innocent people were paying the price now, not the fricking gods and I suspected he didn't give a shit anymore.

As Cid steered our ship through the ocean, we all relayed our stories. I was sorry and mad for hearing about Ravus's death. He had deserved so much better in every way and my heart ached. His damned pride had cost his life. If he had only waited for us...

Prompto refused to tell much what Ardyn had done for him, but I thought maybe I could hear it later. I was just so grateful he was still alive and that Noct had come for him. However, he told me shyly about his origin, and seemed so relieved when I hugged him, swearing it didn't matter, only that he was with us again. 

Ignis and Gladio told their part of their trip, and after everything said, I felt ashamed. I had been stuck sitting in Ardyn's apartment, totally useless to everybody else. They kept telling me it wasn't so, since I had been safe and able to tell everything from the moment Noct touched the Crystal. But I kept thinking differently.

At least our friendships survived. It was probably one of the few things keeping us going. I was thankful that the guys weren't at least openly carrying grudge against me, having been sleeping with the enemy. In fact, they gave some space which I needed.

I felt torn. I felt depressed and angry for my failures. I was mad for Ardyn about so many things. And yet I couldn't erase the feelings I had for him. It shouldn't have been so hard after all the shit he had done and pulled us through.

And still I thought how he had come to kidnap me from the train, hurting me on purpose, pushing me away and yet doing his everything to keep me safe. No wonder I was a mess.

As we arrived in Lestallum, I found out the greedy owner of Leville had been moving all our belongings from the suite to my old room and asked for pay. I left Prompto, Ignis and Gladio waiting in my old room, promising them to go sort things out.

It was all I could do, trying not to flip out in rage. If Ardyn had been here, owner wouldn't have dared to even think of pulling a stunt like this. I told the owner to wait, and went straight to the bank I had my account on. Luckily the banker himself saw me and sent away the ordinary servicer, asking if I was needing help with my business.

When I saw the amount of money on my bank account, I realized why he was so eager to please me. There was so much money, I didn't know what to do with it. Except... "I want to buy two rooms from Leville," I began to explain.

After a while, the banker called one of the lawyers that had also been present on my wedding day. They came along, and together we went straight back to the owner of Leville. 

After some tight conversation and apologies towards me, we came to agreement and I started writing checks. I was now legally owning the suite and my old room in Leville, free to do with them as I pleased. 

After the pleasantries, I hurried back to upstairs. I found guys napping on the bed, laying sideways, side by side and feet touching the floor. I was just about to leave them be, as I heard Ignis's drowsy voice asking "What," behind me.

"I have another room too, now," I told quietly. "You all can sleep straight in a proper bed." Ignis shook Prompto awake, and I told them to go to bed in suite.

"What about you," I heard Gladio's rough voice now. "I'll be there on the couch. Won't be the first time to sleep cozily there," I turned and smiled to him. "Plenty of space by my side," he said and I caught his drift.

I knew he wasn't offering anything else for now but just sleep. "I know. Thanks, Gladdy. But I'm not yet..." I didn't finish, but he knew. I missed someone on my side and I couldn't really bear anyone else there yet.

"Good night, hon. See you tomorrow," he said good-naturedly, luckily not offended and I turned to follow others to the other room.

Next day we had a sort of strategy meeting. Gladio and Prompto wanted to try to find a flat on their own. Until then we'd all stay together here and it made me happy, to be able to do at least something for them.

I came to agreement with Ignis that he'd take my old room for his bedroom, when Gladio and Prompto would someday eventually leave. He and I could have as much freedom as we wanted, but still be close to each other.

So someday Iggy and I'd be roommates, and he'd be free to use my suite as much as he wanted. We'd share the small kitchen and livingroom. I had no doubt that we wouldn't do well together. I'd just miss seeing Prom and Gladio more often then.

Secretly, deep inside, I missed the original order of things. I had shared this room with Ardyn, and we'd had lots of good moments together. It was what I had left of our happiness together. My heart yearned for the time when we had been still in peace with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the songs to really inspire me to write this fic to the end was (and is still) Ghosts from To The Rats And Wolves.
> 
> They sing about her, but as I sing along, it is nowadays always him.
> 
> In my head, it has become Ardyn's song.


	20. Chapter 20

I knew I was dreaming again. But it felt like heaven, feeling those familiar arms carefully around me, pulling me closer to him. I admonished myself silently, because it would be all harder again to get him out of my head when I'd awake.

His closeness was seductive after all this time alone. It had been six months since I'd seen him for the last time. He had brought me to Gralea and we hadn't exactly parted in friendly terms.

But now... "I missed you so much," my lips already betrayed me and the sound of his deep breath behind my back confirmed he felt the same.

I turned around. I needed to see him. And there he was, wearing those clothes that fit him so well. My favourite ones, and he was looking so handsome it hurt. As I leaned on him, feeling his heartbeat again, I punched his chest with my fist.

"You asshole. Bastard. Why can't I let you go. Why do I still miss you," I moaned bitterly while he still held me close in silence. Still, it felt like as if I had been able to breathe again for the first time in a long time.

He changed his grip, lifting me up in his arms and taking me to our bedroom, laying me down to the familiar bed, already invading my lips with his own. I could feel his tongue brushing the salty tears by my cheek and tasting them.

I needed to feel him again, and my hands were already tearing clothes off him. I didn't care if I was destroying them, pulling his shirt open by force instead of losing any time with buttons.

I pushed him off me, only to roll on top of him and throwing my nightgown off. His hands already pulled me back to a hungry kiss, then moving to help us into a more sitting position.

I felt him pushing against me and I took him inside with one nifty movement, already sighing with pleasure, the way he filled me up. If our relationship had been difficult, it had never been that in bed.

I took him the way I wanted, riding him hard as his mouth and hands were everywhere on me. As he kissed and kneaded my breasts, I could feel my clit brushing against him in a most delicious way.

I added speed, and he pushed back harder. We both were close. I almost screamed with pleasure as he pushed me over the edge, still not ceasing to fuck and kiss me, hands on my bottom and moving my hips the way he wanted to. When I slowly came down from my high, he turned us around and kept screwing me, now being on top.

I could feel his need, but he kept holding on and before I knew it, it was so good I exploded for a second time. With few more deep hard thrusts, he came too, moaning aloud and shaking still, his seed bursting into me.

He collapsed, still in me and we just held each other for a long while until we separated. As he kissed me more gently now, his hands in my hair, I closed my eyes. Enjoying the sensation, I could feel one more kiss planted on my lips, soft as a butterfly.

I opened my eyes, seeing now only a dark cool room. I knew I was awake now for sure, and everything was as it had been when I went to sleep. I had my nightgown on, and I could feel myself throbbing down after my orgasms. At least those had been real and I knew I was soaking wet.

It had only been a dream. I had welcomed it with open arms, but now my yearning for him felt again worse than hell. My body and mind called for him and I'd have to suffocate this all again, drowning away my feelings.

I lied awake, sleepless in the night for a long time, my fingers resting on his ring I still kept on.

I couldn't tell about my dream for Ignis next morning, even though he knew I wasn't definitely alright. He never had to ask. In fact, it took a few days to actually get back to normal. He was my best friend now, and we had grown a lot closer during last months.

He was a nice roommate, even though I sometimes forgot to keep furniture in their designed places and he was sometimes annoyingly pedant. He was adjusting very fast to his lack of sight, and I did my best to try to find the balance between guiding him and letting him do his own mistakes.

We cooked and hunted together, building and growing into such synchronicity that sometimes we could almost read each others minds. Sometimes we listened to music together on the sofa, our limbs mixed comfortably. But there was one silent border we didn't cross. I never invited him to my bed, and he never invited me into his.

Prompto and Gladio luckily got used to our strange new habits together. Every now and then we hunted together as a group, taking on a lot bigger and worse daemons than any other hunters could. But it felt bad, to camp there in the wilds without Noct, and thus we couldn't operate like that all the time.

The dreams about Ardyn kept coming irregularly, always at least a few months between them. One time I was with him back at Galdin Quay, feeling and seeing the sun, making the blue sea bask in light. That in itself felt so wonderful I thought I would lose my mind permanently.

"I never wanted to take the sun away from you," Ardyn sighed as he held me, watching as I tried to pull the light and warmness in me. "I may not care about other people, but you..." He couldn't finish and I heard his sorrow between the lines.

I nuzzled closer to him. He was my personal secret drug now, with these dreams. Most of the times he didn't speak at all. I dreaded and waited for the dreams to come, and they always ended too quickly. He was always my Ardyn in these dreams.

"Don't go. Please, Ardyn," I already pleaded. He shook his head, but I didn't know if he meant he could stay or that he'd eventually have to go.

But the dreams always ended. I couldn't remember a time when we hadn't made love in these dreams, and our closeness kept me somehow sane until the next one came.

I wondered sometimes if I was losing my touch from reality. But then again my other life, real life, went on as always, despite my smothered feelings and my strange, irregular nocturnal delusions.

Then I one day I stopped to think. I had been waiting for my time of the month to come. My menstruation was late. Really late. And I hadn't felt well lately. Some foods felt somehow disgusting. And Ignis's cooking was never, never bad. I hadn't had sex with anyone else but Ardyn since we'd married, but... when had I seen the last dream again?

Oh shit. Shitty shit. Freezing hell and flaming shit, I kept thinking in total panic. It couldn't be. First of all, they were just dreams! (Were they now, my traitor mind whispered back. Wasn't it so much easier to tell myself that than to accept the alternative?)

Second thing. I remembered our first time together well. He had said he was incapable of having children. He hadn't said straight that he was too tainted, but I knew now that was what he had wanted to tell. If he would have lied, I should have been pregnant already ages ago.

Still, I rushed out of the door to see a familiar doctor immediately. She could surely tell for me I was being just nuts, nothing else. As I sat in the waiting room, I had a terrible feeling I wasn't just imagining things now.

I knew his cell phone still worked. I had been having my real weak moments once or twice after the dreams. But no matter which way I had begged him to talk with me, he never answered any calls or texts.

So I raised the ring on my lips, closing my eyes. It was the most personal thing I had from him. I still kind of thought it was his and only then mine. I concentrated mentally so hard that it was as if I had been screaming aloud.

"Ardyn! Get your fucking ass here, right fucking now!!!" And I kept thinking about it repeatedly until I was called in the doctor's office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you doing? Still enjoying this? :)


	21. Chapter 21

Later in the evening I heard the much expected knock on the door. Still a little part of me felt surprised that I had actually managed to pull this off. I had asked for Iggy to spend the evening with Gladio and luckily he had accepted my strange request as it were, obliging me without questions.

As I opened the door, Ardyn was there, smiling smugly and a bottle of wine in his hand. He walked in with a smile, without my invitation, simply pushing the bottle in my hands. His annoyingly confident body language already raised my bloodpressure and what he said next didn't help much.

"So. I got this feeling you needed me. What for?" He asked and tilted his head, while taking a seat very comfortably on the sofa. "Hate sex? Have you screwed someone else? Do you want a divorce? Not that I would give it to you. You signed up to be mine," he singsonged lightly while I began to see red.

"Such nerve! You traitorous liar!" I screamed, losing it as he barely shrugged his shoulders and pretending mild interest. When I got started, I ended up shrieking like a banshee, calling him with every profanity that befitted him and I could think of, letting out every frustration I felt about him. 

After a few minutes, I heard an urgent-sounding knock on the door. "What," I barked as I opened the door violently. Owner of Leville was there, looking bothered. "Madam, you scare our customers... Could you please stop yelling," he said strictly.

Ardyn had slid beside me without a noise, his now resting relaxedly on my waist, as if we were talking about mere weather. When the owner saw him, I could already see him slightly back off. He hadn't expected to see Ardyn, I realized.

"If you so much as even look at her sideways again, I will turn you into a cockroach and crush under my boot without a second thought," Ardyn said without blinking an eye and I saw the man wince.

"We on the same page?" Ardyn asked coldly, raising his eyebrows and the man hastily bowed. "Yes sir," he said and practically turned to run away as I closed the door.

"So, was this one of your problems," he let go of me, walking to kitchen and fetching wine glasses. I snatched mine away before he could pour wine for me too, and he raised his eyebrow in question. "How could you let me think they were just dreams," I asked him angrily instead.

"Excuse me?" he pretended surprised, as if he didn't know what I was talking about. I poured myself sparkling water, although now a real stiff drink would have felt so much better.

"Ardyn. I went to doctor's today," I said quietly and now I had his full attention. Now he listened, no more jokes or lies, seemed like. Only worry in his eyes. I turned to look at him.

"It seems that I'm pregnant," I said and his eyes widened up in shock. "Not possible," he breathed immediately, and I could see him already calculating all the possibilities how this could or couldn't be. 

"Ardyn. I haven't been with anybody else but you. And I remember the time when I... we... last..." I tried to explain. "What worries me is that I don't know if the baby is healthy," I continued quietly.

"You want to have my baby?" He asked in wonder, still somewhere on the way trying to get on the same page with me. "Yes, but..." I didn't get any further when he already was scooping me into a bear hug, and changing his mind in the middle, trying to be gentle instead. 

"Do you have any means to know if the baby is fine," I kept asking, again a little frustrated with him before he understood my meaning and nodded. First he raised his hands on my temples, and closed his eyes in silence, leaning his forehead on mine. 

Then he dropped to his knees, repeating the gesture, leaning his head on my stomach. Except that his hands rested on my buttocks. I was about to move his hands away when he pressed them harder still, as if I had bothered him listening.

When he let go, he got up but didn't move away. "You are fine for sure. And I think the baby is too. It is hard to say, when it is but a smallest grain yet," he said, sounding relieved and I felt the same way. "This is a miracle. I will become a father," he wondered.

"No you won't, unless you start to be honest with me," I said to him, meaning it and he looked like if I had slapped him. "You need to stop protecting me with your lies," I tried to soften the blow as he still was stunned with my threat.

"I need our relationship working. You answering the phone. No more games or manipulating. And you really need to stop killing or hurting people, especially the ones I love," I told him.

"You know I still love you. That's the one thing you haven't been able to kill. Yet. But I just can't keep living like this anymore." I spoke harsh words and I knew it. 

He knew it, as I looked at him. He had taken a step back and seemed openly unsure, his glass of wine untouched and forgotten by the table.

"I'm afraid I must... I need to... I will be in touch," he said unsurely and hurried to leave. He pulled the door open, didn't look back as he stepped out, shutting the door carefully behind him.

A week later I hadn't heard anything back from Ardyn. I felt stressed because of that and because I hadn't told Ignis yet. So after the day's work, I asked him to sit down with me on our couch.

"Iggy. I should confess to you a few things," I said, hoping he wouldn't freak out totally. "Yes?" He asked, leaning back and crossing his feet in cool anticipation.

"I uh... have been seeing dreams every now and then about Ardyn. And turned out they weren't really just dreams, but something more," I explained. I wondered how it had really worked, especially when I thought I had felt the sunshine.

Ignis's face turned dark. He was trying to prepare to worst kind of news to continue and couldn't imagine what wouldn't already be bad and even worse, since it was about the crooked chancellor he hated.

I drew a deep breath. "Turns out I am pregnant,"  I said, trying to stay calm myself despite the blood pounding in my veins now. "What?!" He blurted out, really upset. "After everything he has done to us, you go and sleep with him?"

"I didn't think it was real! I thought it was just my own imagination," I tried to explain as he had gotten up and paced around nervously around our livingroom. "He is the very reason I lost my sight," he told me angrily. "What? How," I asked in shock before I remembered this topic had always been a taboo for him. 

"I was trying to get to the altar in Altissia. First Ravus flipped, seeing his sister dead, willing to end Noct's life too when he saw her. I stopped him. Shortly afterwards, chancellor arrived and threatened to do the same. I had no choice but to use Noct's ring," Ignis explained shortly, but it was more than he had ever told before.

"You could have died," I whispered and tears were pouring from my eyes. So I hadn't failed only Luna and Noct, but my dearest friend too. I hadn't thought that things could have actually gotten any worse than they had been. "Well, I didn't," he said, hearing now my distress.

He kneeled in front of me on the floor, bending closer to soothe me, as I could barely breathe now. "Come on now," he said. "What happened, happened. I'm still alive."

"But it's my fault!" I whined in agony, covering my face and tears. "No, it's not. It is not. So, do I get to be an uncle," he tried to change the subject clumsily. I hung myself to his neck and he hugged me back despite my wet face.

"Uncle, godfather, whatever you like," I promised him without a second thought. "Then I want to be a godfather too," he replied, and I knew he meant it. "What will you do about... the father?"

"There won't be a father, unless he starts behaving and he knows it," I said, resolved as I let go of him and he sat back down to his original place on the sofa.

"You told him already," he said and I could feel his surprise and worry. "I did. The same day I found out myself. A week ago," I admitted. Ignis shook his head. "So that's why... How did it go?"

"Well... He was kind of happy. Despite my angry yelling and all the worry. But he left and I haven't heard from him since. Not that I tried to reach him again yet. I suppose he is still thinking and processing this all,. Especially my demands," I sighed.

"I agree with what Gladio once said. I suppose he will find you when he wants to," he said unhappily. "You are not going to hunt from now on, are you," he asked worriedly, but knew better than to deny it straight from me.

"I will hunt as long as I feel comfortable doing it and fitting in my gear. I'll be careful and I don't want you to take any risks for me. Just like others. I suppose we have to tell them too," I wondered.

It would be even harder to tell to Gladio and Prompto. There definitely wasn't any love lost between them and Ardyn, either. "Ignis? Would you... please help me tell to Gladio and Prompto? And to others sometime later when it starts to show?" I asked and I knew now I was just being weak. But he nodded thoughtfully, and I could see it was not the only thing on his mind now.


	22. Chapter 22

A month later I was coming home from a hunt with Ignis. I was considering that I'd give it up soon, not because I couldn't physically do it anymore, but because I was mentally starting to feel way too protective of the little thing growing in my belly.

When I saw things like mindflayers, imagining what they'd do given the slightest chance... I remembered the blood and pain on Ravus's face, after just one successful attack in the desert of Niflheim. I soon needed to start to trust in my dear comrades to keep on fighting, when I couldn't bear the risk of getting hurt anymore.

I stepped in from the door, talking and laughing with Ignis, as I saw a familiar form waiting patiently on the sofa. I could feel Ignis freezing behind me, sensing both my surprised reaction and his rapid own, realizing already who had to be waiting.

Still he seemed to insist to follow in my footsteps inside the apartment, closing the door behind him and staying ready and alert, leaning on the wall beside the door.

Ardyn had gotten up and met me in the halfway of the room. He studied me in silence. "You reek of daemonblood," he said disapprovingly. I thought this time I had done things relatively neatly compared to some other times, when it really drenched me. But sure, the faint smell stuck around my gear nowadays, no matter how well I always kept cleaning it after.

"Isn't there other people to do the hunting," he growled to me. "You know the state of the world as well as we do," I said back coolly. "Are you not able to make her stay safely at home," he pointed his irritated words this time to Ignis.

"Have you actually ever managed to do that yourself, when she insists herself to go and is stubborn like a donkey," Ignis replied without blinking an eye. For a moment Ardyn's face turned as he almost cracked a smile and I didn't know how to feel. Had Ignis just joked on my behalf? To him?

"So you keep taking care of him. I would have let him keep his sorry life and his sight as it were, if I'd known he'd stay to follow you around like an overgrown puppy," Ardyn said to me, recovering quickly but still being mean just because he was annoyed.

I tilted my head and warned him with a single look. He rolled his eyes back, sighing and leaning back. "Fine, fine, I'm sorry," he muttered defiantly.

"Why are you here, Ardyn?" I asked, trying to keep my calm. "Well, I came to understand that you preferred to see me awake rather than in your dreams," he replied rather smugly, stealing a glimpse at Ignis's reaction, but there weren't any. He stayed still on his place, carefully guarding his expressions. 

"I simply wanted to know how are you and to see you are well," he finished and this time I could feel in his tone some genuine concern. "I am fine," I sighed back.

"May we speak alone? Without your loyal lapdog jealously watching over you?" Ardyn said and once again I had to narrow my eyes at him. It was his turn to sigh dramatically. "My apologies. I was inappropriate, mr. Scientia. I do appreciate your care over her," he said quite unwillingly but politely.

"I'll be okay, Ignis," I called warmly and I could hear him move to the door. As he was about to shut it, he told me just to yell, if I needed him and he'd come. "Thanks, Iggy. I'll text ya later," I called back.

When he was gone, Ardyn seemed to relax a little, getting up now. "It is good to know he watches your back, even if... well, not in a literal sense, of course," he said and I felt surprised to hear even that approvement from him towards Ignis.

"I really wanted to see you. I'm sorry about the way I left last time. I would like to be at least now and then present in your life. And I'm sorry I can't do that all the time. But I promise I try to be better," he said, reaching for my hand.

I went closer, giving it to him. He raised it up and kissed the back of it. And the Six help me, the way his lips felt made me shiver inside. "My dear, I don't mean to complain, but you do need a shower. You smell like blood, sweat and wilds," he told me, wrinkling his nose.

"I like it when you make effort like this," I found myself admitting. "Wanna come wash my back?" The question escaped spontaneously from my mouth but I saw a glint in his eyes and the way he tried not to look too eager.

I walked ahead to the bathroom and he followed me, simply dropping his clothes on the floor, starting with his shirt. When I turned around, he was already naked.

He was beautiful. He was tall, wide-shouldered, with a flawless posture and skin glowing almost like light caramel. His body was toned, not overly musclesome, but still having them and it was hard not just to reach for him.

"May I help," he offered and his hands were already on my gear, niftily opening it and taking it off. His hands were brushing my revealing skin, and it felt wonderful. "I can see your shape already changing," he muttered in wonder.

He put the shower on, and began from washing my hair. "Lean your head back, my dear," he said and I did it while he rinsed, closing my eyes. His fingers massaged my scalp skillfully while washing it and he almost made mewl then.

"I've always loved seeing you enjoy my touch," he whispered huskily. Without a warning his lips crashed on mine, and his fingers were still on my hair. He demanded now, and I melted, kissing him back and my body pushing tightly against his.

I could feel him pressing hard against my stomach and I wrapped my hand around him, pushing and pulling, making him groan with desire on my mouth. As his lips left mine, I didn't stop my hand from stroking and I could see almost flames in his eyes.

"Can I," he asked and I told him eagerly yes. He lifted me up, against the wall and guided me down on his waiting dick. He held me up, hands on my ass and I wrapped my legs around him, as he began to pound in me, hard against the wall, blinded by lust.

We came almost in the same time, my hands in his wild hair I liked so much, trying not to be loud this time and drowning the sound in his neck. This had been really quick one, but we both had needed it. I sighed with satisfaction. "I hope I wasn't too rough," he said a little worried now, nuzzling against my neck. I shook my head, and he let me down carefully. 

He continued to wash me to the end in silence, hands now very gentle. Still I couldn't help twitching, as his hand reached delicately down, his fingers and warm water brushing me clean between my legs before moving elsewhere.

As we finished, he dried us both up methodically and turned to take my hand, leading us to the bedroom. He lifted the covers, slid under and I followed, cradling close to his warmth, just like we used to in the old times.

I leaned my head on the hollow of his neck, my arm resting around him and sliding my foot between his. "I wish you could stay," I admitted. "I know. But they would never let me, and I have duties to fulfill," he replied sadly, taking my left hand and looking briefly at his ring resting on my nameless finger.

"How did they take the news," he asked and I knew he meant telling all of the crownsguard about my unexpected pregnancy. "Not well. But then again it could have been a lot worse. They seem to have taken the angle that this is more my baby than yours."

"As long as it works out for you," he said with relief and stroked my hair. "I would like to speak with them when I visit next time."

"What," I jumped up and looked at him. He was being dead serious. "I have a proposition for them, since they are not going to disappear from your life. That is why I would like to ask formally a favour from them and try to make things easier for all of us."

"Ardyn, what are you talking about," I still didn't get what he was implying. "I have to go in few hours again. I would rather enjoy my time now with you than to think about the other men. You will find out." He turned to kiss me and his hands were already on the move, sliding all over me and making my thoughts incoherent again as I wanted him again.

However, three weeks later I was sitting in the livingroom with kingsguard, this time nervously expecting for Ardyn's visit. I had asked for them to take the sofa to divide the room just in case things escalated.

I wondered if Ardyn had a death wish, asking to have a conversation with them after what he had put them all through. Yet he had insisted on the phone that they all would be there. 

Prompto was openly fiddling, Gladio seemed already mentally prepared and eager for murder, and Ignis sat there, feet crossed and looking carefully controlled. We all jumped, hearing the knock on the door and I hurried to open it.

"Hi," I breathed as I saw him. "Hello, my dear," he replied carefreely and walked in with his usual style. He was in his official garb and thus I suspected he wouldn't stay this time for long. He took the coat off, though, hanging it carefully and I could feel the tension growing behind our backs.

I had made everyone swear repeatly that they would behave themselves, especially and very much including Ardyn. Yet I could feel the black stormcloud forming over the couch while Ardyn took a seat. "Let's get to the business then," Ardyn said, wasting no time or greetings with them.

"We all know we all here for her. She is the only reason why I feel slightest remorse or regret for anything these days. My apologies for things I've done might feel way too... presumptuous, however, so let's not stick to that," he said lightly.

I would have covered my face with my hands if it just would have felt safe now. Even when he was trying to be perfectly civil with them, he somehow managed to sound annoying. "You know she is with a child." He continued and definitely didn't need to highlight whose it was.

"My humble request is that you will continue to care for her. But, you understand, she is now Lucis Caelum. I would ask that her child would get to grow under the guidance of royal chamberlain and under the protection of royal shield," he said more respectfully now, watching carefully for everybodys impressions.

Prompto was clearly pouting, and Ardyn hurried to add, "And... uh, under the care of... perfectly capable revolverman, of course." I couldn't stop the mental image of seeing Prompto shoot Ardyn's guts out in the Crystal room and it made me shiver.

However, Prompto nodded with satisfaction and Ardyn smiled carefully now. I could feel careful approval emanating back, and maybe we'd have a fragile truce.

"We all know the end game will be between me and your king. However, I cannot bear the thought of possibly leaving her behind without anyone. So, if Noctis should win our little family feud, do you promise not to cast her away?" He asked with grave seriousness and I felt shaken to the core. Ignis was quicker than that, though. "Of course they will be looked after," he said and we all noticed he wasn't talking about just me.

Ardyn was pleased and nodded back. "That's what I was hoping to hear. You love her, don't you?" He dropped the bomb most casually, still watching Ignis and in my shock I could see deep blush creeping on Ignis's face as Prompto's and Gladio's gazes travelled between us three, confused.

"You, mr. Scientia. I want you to move in properly with her. She and the baby need to be loved and I am not enough here to do it as it should be done. Of course, I want to preserve the right to be the first. When I come to visit her, I want to be alone with her and the baby like a perfectly normal husband, and believe me, I will come regularly," Ardyn told, ignoring my panic.

I wasn't the only one who couldn't believe things he had just said. Ignis's blush had paled, his face was now white and he'd gotten up, walking away and stopping in front of bedroom, back turned in thought.

Gladio and Prompto both looked like they had been hit with the hammer and just waiting for the next round. And me? I panicked. "You can't just go and decide things like that!" I yelled to him.

"Shhh, my love. You don't have to sleep with him unless you want to. Which you can, but really, only if you want to. I need you to be happy, really happy, and this is what I would like to give to you. I would love to give the world to you, my queen, but I know you don't want it. And unfortunately, you know I can't stay by your side always, even if I could destroy the gods and the cursed Crystal," he explained all rationally.

I was freaking out. In the end it was me who needed tranqs and not the others. This was absurd. Ardyn got up and hugged me carefully. "Think about it. Preferably when he keeps you warm, when you go to sleep tonight," he said, kissing my cheek and parted from me.

"Why me," I could hear Ignis ask quietly for the first time. Prompto's and Gladio's heads kept turning between us, still following the bizarre situation like a tennisgame.

"Because you have been raised like a prince, but only better. Because I owe you. And most importantly, because I know you love and cherish her," Ardyn replied before picking up his coat. "My dear, I will be back in a week," he announced and turned to leave once again, just like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay?


	23. Chapter 23

Days slipped into weeks and weeks into months. Things seemed to somehow get in order in our lives, no matter how mad it felt first. My strange two paths with men of my life were beginning to work out as one.

There were those regular times when Ardyn let me know he was coming home and it pretty much used to wipe the slate clean. Still it made me happy, to know we'd have always few good and proper days together before he'd go again and not like in those dreams, which had been worst kind of tease in their shortness.

"Ardyn. You didn't answer me before. Why did you really let me think they were just dreams? Why didn't you come to really see me," I asked him one evening when we were cuddling together. He pulled me closer, just thinking about those dreams.

"First I just wanted to see you were alright. I thought I gave you time to move on and get over me. But then I understood that a part of you still somehow managed to love me, after everything I had done. I tried to stay away, I really did. But every now and then I couldn't resist the temptation and it always ended the same." He smiled his half-smile.

"Me in your arms," I sighed. "Yes," he agreed. Just the memory of the things what I had done sometimes with him in those dreams made me blush. Then again, our lovemaking awake had never been that modest, either. He was pretty much my uninhibited sex god, although I'd never admit it to him.

"It was unbelievable that I couldn't push you away. And by the way, when you called me through the ring, I could feel you tugging me mentally. I know you don't believe in it, but the ring had nothing to do with it. You established the connection well on your own," he explained and I shook my head. True that, I didn't know whether to believe it.

One day Ardyn came home, unusually happy. As I kissed him welcome, I asked him what was going on. "Prepare for some renovations, dear," he replied and I wasn't that happy about it myself.

I liked our place just the way it was, and I wasn't looking forward for looking after men fixing or changing anything. Seeing my disappointment, he hurried to explain more.

"I bought the next room to us for nursery. Since we can't use the one across us, and it's Ignis's anyway. We can have another bathroom and the door moved. So when the baby grows, it can have its own room," he told me.

I had to admit, it felt like a pretty good idea in a long run. It just embarrassed me that soon we'd own almost an entire floor from one corner of the hotel. But if I mentioned about it to Ardyn, he'd probably go and buy the whole thing.

"What are you thinking," he asked, still excited. "Umm... furniture," I replied absently. "No you're not," he answered, not a slightest bit fooled by my little white lie. "But you tell me everything you want and I will arrange it for you. Hey, did I say something funny," he asked as I began to laugh.

I bet he really would have bought the hotel in this state of mind. But he was happy, so it made me pretty happy too. Ardyn was the oddest person sometimes. 

Sometimes I wondered why he had chosen Ignis out of all others. Sure, he had told some reasons but I thought there was more to it. He had pretty much hated Ravus and I knew he wouldn't have approved about any others around me either. 

One of my theories was that Ignis was like he had been when he was young. Well raised, caring, fulfilling his duties. He always put others before himself and was ready to fight to the death if the cause was right.

Maybe he was counting on that Ignis would include me and my baby to be of those causes. So he made sure that if he couldn't be there to watch over me, his secondary would be. Even with a price. Still, I couldn't forget that he had been capable of destroying a kingdom out of spite, when he was in the mood. What had made his jealousy really turn to tolerable?

ln the beginning it was the strangest thing. I still couldn't understand how he could keep pushing me to Ignis's arms. Then again, he had made perfectly clear it would never happen when he was present with me. Usually Ignis's solution was just leave to hunt until Ardyn was gone.

One would have never thought how hard it was first for Ignis and me to relax around each other, even when we had slept together countless times before. Or maybe that was just one more thing making it difficult.

I remembered the first weeks, us going together in my bedroom and the trouble of falling asleep and then staying in a restless sleep. It had never been like that on the road. We just couldn't relax now in the same bed.

Then he had gone to a longer hunting trip with others. When Ardyn had left, I was alone for several days still. First my constant worry about Ignis felt ridiculous.

I thought sarcastically I was just being codependent and that my pregnancy messed with my head. And then I really began to worry about him, what if something would get to him. Even though I knew Prompto and Gladio watched after him, and he most efficiently after them, even with his disability.

Still when he came home, I realized I had waited for him as much as I used to wait for Ardyn. And when he had arrived, smelling faintly like wilds, I had wrapped my hands around him and tentatively kissed him for the first time after we had unwillingly broken up.

It was strange. Old and new mixed, since he wasn't the same as then and I wasn't either. But there was this essential thing we had been having before. When our lips met, he forgot everything else for a while. And I in turn knew he could never be a mere friend to me anymore. I didn't want him to be.

"I missed you," I told him and he chuckled. "I wanted you to," he said, pulling me into an embrace again. "So you did this fully on purpose," I admonished him but he just smiled mischievously. "Yeah. I wanted to finally wring it out of you," he confessed.

"Tell me just one more time again, that he really is alright with this," he pleaded while he mapped out my face with his lips and fingertips. "He is," I confirmed shortly and this time he was finally satisfied.

His hands pulled me across the hall into his room and as soon as the door was closed, he was ready to strip me. "I would like to feel your skin," he confessed, lips brushing me constantly. So I let him undress me, his hands working as his eyes.

"We shouldn't have let you go that day when we last met at the Vesperpool," he muttered as I took his clothes off in return. "If you hadn't, I might have died. There was poison in my wounds and already in my veins," I told him and he flinched. 

"And we didn't notice," he was stunned now, fingertips searching and trailing the faintest lines on my skin, what remained as light scars. "I didn't notice it in time myself. He healed me," I told him as he sat down heavily on the edge of bed, still keeping me close. 

"I hate it. First he steals you, only to wave you in front of out noses and to pull you back even in a tighter grip. Back and forth, and when I finally thought he might be gone for good and I possibly had a last chance with you, he knocks you up. And then he tells me to take care of you and you're periodically now mine. It's crazy." He had buried his face against my belly and he was crying now.

I lifted the sheet and he crawled under, upset and feeling he had said too much. I slipped under, spooning against his back and holding him soothingly until we fell asleep.

When I woke up, he was there, eyes open and facing me before he realized I was watching him. He hastily shut his eyes to hide his sightlessness. "You don't have to," I told and brushed his cheek with my lips. "It doesn't bother me."

Instead he turned his face and kissed me back. "Thank you," he said. "What for," I asked. "You stayed with me," he replied. "Of course. I love you," I realized.

Maybe I had never fully stopped loving him, but Ardyn had just come between and stolen his lionsized portion before it was too late. I wondered again if feelings and things would have eventually gone back the way they were with Gladio and Prompto too, if Ardyn hadn't interfered with my life.

I knew they were trying to move on with their lives. But Ignis had chosen another path, even if I had fallen in love with Ardyn and chosen to stay with him. And yet Ignis had stuck around after Gralea. 

And his hands were beginning to do undescribable things to me now, and I found out I wanted him. In a different way than I wanted Ardyn. And I finally gave in, breathing out his name and it was the only affirmation he needed.

The day my daughter was born was a mess. Even though Ardyn was there, Ignis refused to leave and I could feel the uneasy tension still between them, even though Ardyn agreed to make an exception.

Then when the pain was getting its highest, Ardyn couldn't stop himself and began to argue with doctor about my pain medication. He had brought his briefcase along, kept pointing things and talking about healing concoctions and science until the doctor almost banned him from the room.

On top of that, now I wanted to kill him for putting me through this, while Ignis kept wiping my face with a cool wet cloth. Noticing that, Ardyn pointedly held my hand. "If you want to measure and compare your dicks, do it somewhere else," I managed to growl at them until the next contraction took my full attention. 

After endless-seeming hours, I received in my arms a beautiful little girl. Her baby hair seemed like mine in colour, but she had Ardyn's amber eyes. "Hi, Ariadne. Quite a thing you put me through," I breathed to her gently, stroking her cheek and she stared back at me. I already loved her. 

"You chose her name without me," I could feel Ardyn pouting by my side. I reluctantly gave my daughter to him. "Don't you think it fits her," I asked while he was lost in wonder in turn. He looked at her for a long while. "It does," he admitted and kept studying our little miracle.

And to my surprise, after a while he asked to switch places with Ignis, who was still looking after me. Ardyn very carefully placed his daughter on Ignis's arms. And then he no longer listened to the doctor, but began to heal me most efficiently with his own style.

My little girl Ariadne, (or Arya, as I called her short) kept growing, having herself often surrounded with uncles and aunts. Especially Cid surprised me, being just as sweet and kind near her as Gladio and Prompto were.

Although I worried that she called Ignis daddy too, in Ardyn's hearing. The first time had been real awkward. Well, technically she called him 'Iddy', but to my relief, Ardyn just laughed about it. So from then on, she had both daddy and Iddy.

Ardyn too, had definitely grown softer with his fatherhood and I wondered what sort of pranks she could pull on him in the future, compared to others that wouldn't even dare think of getting through with stuff like that when it came to him.

Ardyn had once called me the most dangerous woman on Eos, but I supposed that applied only when I wore my almost invincible bracelet. In comparison, my husband was way over the league in his own right. To think our daughter had him wrapped around her little finger... What did it make of her then? 

I was most happy that she was healthy. During my pregnancy Ardyn had checked several times that there was no trace of his daemonic energies. She was perfectly ordinary little girl and that was a huge gift for me. Except that when she had turned one year, whole Lestallum was whispering rumours that she was actually Lucian princess. And for once Ardyn and Ignis agreed, and raised her accordingly.

When Ardyn was home, during Arya's bedtime I heard him tell her fascinating stories from old times and when he had been but a young prince in Lucis. Sometimes I really wanted to hear them myself.

If she didn't fall asleep with him, I went and sang her a song. That certain song always ended our day. Afterwards it was non-negationably lights out for her, and I usually went to sit for awhile with Ignis or Ardyn, whoever happened to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. A difficult chapter to write. Hope you like it though.
> 
> Kudos for Astrid Lindgren's Ronia, the robber's daughter! My song may not be the wolf song, but if I will ever have kids, they will grow up with that book and with me singing.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The last chapter...

Arya was seven, when Gladio called that big call we had always waited for. Umbra had made an appearance and we all packed ourselves to car and drove to Hammerhead. Noct would come there.

We were all waiting, when Noct finally arrived with Talcott. He had a scruffy beard and his hair had grown longer. He was older. More prestigious. More royal. All in all, now he carried himself more like a king and less like a prince.

I waited for him to finish his talk and greetings with others. After all, I had always been the late addition to the party, taken along on a whim. But after I nodded and barely got to say "Your Highness," he was already hugging me.

"How are you," he asked eagerly. "Good. In fact, I would like to introduce you to somebody before we go," I smiled to him, still feeling a little surprised with his kindness. We led him to the garage, where Cindy was with Arya, showing her the car she was currently working on.

"This is my daughter Ariadne," I said to Noctis as she ran to us. "Arya, this is our king Noctis. The one that you have been told about, the Chosen king." She curtsied and greeted him politely as she had been taught to.

Noctis lowered himself on one knee and offered his hand to Arya. "I think we could agree that I get to be an uncle, right," and Arya nodded now eagerly, smiling now brightly back to him and shaking his hand.

"Mommy, how long you and Iddy will guard and travel with uncle Noctis," she asked me, fluently calling him uncle already, but Noct was faster. "Few days, maybe. Who's Iddy," Noct asked with a grin, already guessing the answer but willing to hear it anyway.

Ignis cleared his throat and others tried not to chuckle. "That would be me. As in Ignis and daddy combined, since she couldn't say Iggy or Ignis when she began to speak. Although she has another, actual daddy too," he clarified.

Noct looked at me with silent question in his eyes and I nodded. I could see he understood and didn't seem to blame me. But we'd likely still talk about it. Everybody had things to talk with him.

"Arya, remember to be a good girl with auntie Cindy," Ignis already reminded her. "Yes, Iddy. But mom, I would have liked to hear the song, please," she turned to ask me instead. "I'll see what I can do. I can't promise for sure," I told her. If we'd be in a hurry, I'd call her if I could. It was up to Noct now.

But he seemed to want to get familiar with changed Hammerhead and then I got the feeling that he just stalled, talking with everyone. When it was time, I slipped to the back of garage and Cindy's room, everybody still standing outside.

So I sang goodnight to my girl while she was lying on her bunk bed, sheet raised to her chin and a stuffed toy chocobo in her tight grip. She was sleepy, and her eyes stayed closed. But she still mumbled the important question. "Mommy? Will you come back for sure?"

"I will. For sure," I promised, kissing her forehead before standing up. We had told her about the reality of hunters, and that sometimes one did not and could not always come back. But I wondered secretly how it would be with rest of us.

As I closed the door after me, I found four silent men standing nearby inside the garage. I knew they had been listening. They were all serious and quiet. The others knew our routine, and had heard our song countless times, but now I thought I saw a gleam of tears in Noct's storm-blue eyes before he turned away and led us to the car.

As we were about to leave, Noct gave us new outfits, the official Kingsglaive garbs. "They were meant to be worn during the wedding, but... I hope they still fit," he smiled. "And you wear one too. You've had other gear on too long, now," he winked especially at me.

As we were driving towards Insomnia, I thought the daemons seemed to get more scarce the closer we got. When we got to the last haven, there were barely none around. Gladio set up the camp and Ignis already prepared his portable cooking station.

I had texted Ardyn. He deserved to know we were coming. I wondered if he'd see Ariadne in her dreams. My husbands life was the cost of a dawn, but I knew I could not raise my hand against him. I would protect Noct from anything, but I could not participate in either of their deaths.

I was not the only one in dark thoughts. They seemed to hang over our camp alongside sorrow. It felt good to have Noct back, it really did. But as I watched him and Ignis talking with each other, further away, in my mind was this terrible foreboding of the things waiting for us.

Noct took all the time he wanted to chat with us, individually and together. He wanted to know everything, from how we were doing, to how things were in the world. There wasn't a topic he wasn't interested about.

He pulled me to the side of haven in some point. Others were sitting by the fire, out of hearing distance, although I couldn't say that for sure about Ignis. His hearing was almost supernaturally sharp these days.

"Your daughter is lovely," he said smiling. "How old is she?" I couldn't help but to smile back. I knew he meant it. I told him she was seven. "And how's the dad," he asked casually and I knew he meant Ardyn.

"Around for few days in a month at least. Surprisingly kind father. Ignis was supposed to be her godfather, but he ended up being just as much father to her as the real one," I explained.

"He sure seems to be more to you too," Noct winked meaningfully. "He is," I admitted and I could feel blush rising on my cheeks. "You love him too. How?" He asked unbelievingly. He hadn't really expected my answer.

So I began to tell everything that happened after Gralea, starting from coming home, the dreams and my unplanned pregnancy. I told him about Ardyn revealing Ignis's feelings to us all and their strange truce over me, leading ultimately to my theories why Ardyn actually allowed me this.

Noct's face was priceless by the time I finished. "Good god. He really does love you," he breathed. "Yeah, he does," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I didn't think before it was actually real or even possible," he admitted.

"What kind of mage are you? What do you do to men? I heard that even Ravus Nox Fleuret actually liked you, and he didn't like anyone but his sister," he asked, wide-eyed. "It's nothing I do on purpose," I whimpered.

"No, I don't mean it like that! You seem like a good mother and I am happy you and Ignis are together. He deserves to be happy." Noctis hastily tried to soften his previous words. "I hope he is happy with us," I sighed in turn.

"He is. And... I'm sorry, so sorry that I freaked out so badly when we abandoned you to Lestallum. I really shouldn't have and the regret has been weighing on me for a long time. Perhaps you wouldn't have had to marry the chancellor, if I hadn't been so pig-headed about it." He apologized for the first time.

"I'm sorry, too. I didn't know how to tell you about it all and then it just escaped out of our hands. I never wanted to betray you. But Ariadne is my sunshine in this world, and I never regretted having her," I told him.

We reached out to each other, staying in a hug for a long time, enjoying our peace. Maybe he still couldn't fully understand my relationship with Ardyn, but now we were finally square.

Later he kept a speech for all of us around the campfire. Our group was now truly one again. It was odd to see guys as openly moved as I were, but this evening had been most special. And I felt happy to crawl once more into the tent with them, finding my space between Noct and Ignis.

When we entered the Crown city next day, Prompto wondered aloud. "Umm, guys? Don't you think it's odd? No daemons around?"

And it was true. We could see the destruction around us after the war, but now the city was just empty. Not a slightest sound around, no movement. "Don't celebrate yet. It could be a trap," Gladio rumbled, still dubious about it.

But I suspected this was one of the things that had been keeping Ardyn busy, when he was not by my side. I wondered how he could have keeping the whole area clean of daemons all by himself. 

Had he been preparing a home for us to come to? But that would mean his defeat, and the thought of having to live without him made me wince. I didn't want to think of losing either of them, Noct or Ardyn. But then again, they could never co-exist. Not after everything.

As we reached the gates of Citadel, we could the glow of fire. We entered carefully, and saw the Infernian himself on the guard in the front of palace. There was no way in but through him.

Noct had been meant to craft the covenant with the Six. Ifrit, the real source of the Starscourge, certainly would not give his blessing to Noctis willingly. I noted this to others, and Noct nodded. "Then we take it by force," he agreed.

Ardyn had left the last Astral on a silver platter for us to be defeated. Perhaps he wanted make sure that Noct would be able to wield the full power of the Lucii ring. I knew he'd be watching, to see one of the gods that had condemned him, to go down.

They might have had once an alliance, but it was about to end now, and the stupid creature was now just a pawn in the game and didn't even know it.

As we closed up, it saw us. We ducked in cover, but Noct's coat was already in flames. Luckily it had been just a coat and it had protected him. Prompto took care of it while I rolled my sleeves up. I had my bracelet on. In a second I spammed a deadly freeze spell on it in retaliation, feeling mean pleasure as the Pyreburner doubled over in pain.

Gladio pulled me back forcefully and I saw Noct's eyes turning pink. Shit, time to find some serious cover. We barely reached the closest building when we saw Bahamut on the sky, flying with an incredible speed and agility.

Noct was still on the immediate battleground, but by now the rogue astral was on the run, trying just to avoid huge blades raining down from the sky. I could see the gods, taking measure of each other. Neither would seem to subside, but then the Bahamut vanished after his attack. 

Ifrit was in flames again and on the move. As I ran closer with others and Noct warped around it, I cast another freeze, and the flames once again stifled. Noct's eyes changed their colour once again, and this time Shiva appeared while we searched for cover again.

It was incredible to watch him summon and to see the last moments of the Infernian. The way Shiva kissed her former lover gave me shivers.  Her touch was so gentle, yet her kiss meant his death. He crumbled down, she disappeared and it was over. This had been Ifrit's end.

The palace was lit and it brought memories for all of us. I hadn't been part of the core group and like Prompto, had ever barely been to the actual throne room. However, hearing from Noct how the room had always made his father seem sad... It made me sad, too. And the way he chose a photo of us all, hiding it in his chest pocket... it felt so final.

Pushing the final doors open, we entered. Ardyn was waiting, sitting casually on the throne. I could see how it raised the hair on Noct's neck and his anger too, seeing his enemy on the seat of his father. On his seat.

And yet for a moment I had the strangest feeling. It felt like a slightest passing touch of parallel universes, this moment filled with anger and sadness. This room could have looked very different. And I could almost feel the ghosts in it.

This kingdom had once been Ardyn's. It had been rightfully his, before the gods had turned their favour away. I glimpsed at the Crystal hanging in chains over the throne and I understood his contempt. Once the Crystal had seemed beautiful to me. Now I wasn't sure if I'd ever want Ariadne anywhere near it.

When we were in the middle of the room, Ardyn and Noct began their exchange, Noct speeding his steps when he reached the stairs. They were already taunting each other and once again I could hear Ardyn agitate him fully on purpose. 

Gladio took a fast step forward, angry himself and ready for challenge. But before I could do anything, Ignis had already stepped in front of him. "It's not our fight anymore, and you know it," he said and Gladio stopped in his tracks.

"I'd like to see them anyway," Prompto confessed and we agreed. Ardyn had already disappeared through the open gash torn on the throne room wall, and we could see Noctis stop for a moment in front of the throne, sliding his hand over the armrest before following him outside.

They were already at it when we made it back outside. We all watched with silent horror, dreading the outcome. And Ardyn's powers were just like Noct's, only his glowed red instead of blue. They slammed each other to the walls, all anger, rage and hurt now fully unleashed at each other.

Every time Noctis raised the stakes, Ardyn replied in kind. They were equally, monstrously strong. Soon they were flinging weapons in the air, their forms turning into blurry flashes. But as Noct seemed to weave his attacks faster and stronger, I thought Ardyn's were getting lazier. His merciless taunts continued, though.

And finally, Noct slammed his father's blade through Ardyn. I could not stifle my scream and I hurried towards them. Ardyn had already said everything for him and I hurried past Noct, already walking away as a winner. I kneeled on the ground beside heavily bleeding Ardyn.

"You came, my dear," he breathed as I lifted his head to rest on my lap, telling him over and over again that of course I came for his sake. He opened his eyes and I saw my tears fall on him and I hurried to wipe them off his face. He breathed heavily.

"I'm sorry... for everything I did. I'm sorry I hurt you. And the people you loved. I wish we could have lived a full life together, not one like this," he said, lifting his finger on my lips to keep me silent.

"Shhh, listen to me, my love. I don't have much time. I will wait for you in the afterlife. I want another chance with you, even if it should be there. Until then, you need to live your life to the fullest. Love Ignis like you have loved me. And grow Ariadne together to be worth the crown of Lucis. Wear our name proud of it." He sighed, ignoring my incoherent objections. 

I didn't want him to go. I had tried to prepare for this, but nothing could ease the pain as I saw him sliding away from me, away from my reach with every passing second. The permanence of losing him was about to drive me to madness. I wasn't ready to lose him yet. 

"For countless years I thought I could reach redemption only by my revenge and in my death. I'm glad Noctis was stronger man than my brother was, by the way, able to finish me unlike he with his greed. But I was so wrong. You and Ariadne were so much more to me. You were my real redemption. So please accept my final gifts with Ignis. I love you, my dear." His amber eyes were shutting now and I held him, kissing him.

I felt the rain begin to pound us now, and he disappeared from my hands. In the next moment I was alone in the rain, sitting in the empty palace yard. I was without him and it was killing me, making me howl aloud my loss.

After a moment I could hear steps. I lifted my head, still feeling dull. Prompto. I had expected Ignis deep inside, but of course he was with Noct and Gladio. He came to me, giving his hand and pulled me up, telling me uneasily I shouldn't stay like this in the rain.

He supported me until steady, walking us back to the throne room. Seeing Regis's blade and the blood on the throne, I now understood Noct's fate. So the greedy gods had demanded his life too. I wondered if these tears would ever run out as they kept coming. 

I kneeled in front of the throne for Noct's memory, bowing my head like Ignis and Gladio already in position, Prompto doing the same on my other side.

Wasn't it enough that we had lost so many people already? Both Luna and Ravus. My father. King Regis. And both of my kings, Noctis and Ardyn. Ignis had sacrificed his sight, and countless Glaives their whole lives, not to mention ordinary citizens harmed in all three nations.

I don't know how long we stayed there in silence. Gladiolus was the first to get up, taking a direction. We followed him in silence as we made our way to the roof garden.

We could see the place where the Crystal had still rested when we had set on our journey. The roof was surprisingly neat and we sat down, huddling tightly together in our cold and sorrow.

After one hour, the sky began to turn a little lighter. And eventually colours shifted as the clouds began to float away. When morning and the first dawn after all these years came, we all fought against the tears.

Rising sun felt so bright it almost hurt our eyes. Even Ignis sensed the change, closing his eyes behind his glasses. We watched the sun climb higher, feeling the rays getting warmer and warmer on our cheeks.

"I wonder if Arya and Cindy are awake," I muttered to myself. This would be the first real morning in my little girl's life. "Let's go to see," Ignis said, carefully taking my hand.

"Will we all move back here," Prompto asked eagerly. I shook my head, not knowing what to say but Gladio nudged him. "Of course we will. There's a kingdom for us to build again," he grunted, taking it for granted. "What?" I asked dumbly.

"Mrs Lucis Caelum, use your pretty head," Prompto smiled mischievously as he headed for the elevator leading down. "Our daughter is a princess, after all," Ignis said so self-assuredly that for a little while he reminded Ardyn.

My Ardyn... He had told me to love Ignis like I had loved him. Perhaps it was a good time for my heart to stop being divided between my loves.

"Did he tell you about his work to legally prove your and Arya's position as first heirs of Lucis Caelum bloodline?" Ignis asked. "No," I said back with wonder and shock. "Well, he left me mountains of verified papers in binders, and piles of official documents," he grinned.

"Your..." Prompto began to bow to me with a smirk. "Don't!" I yelled to him in panic. I definitely was not okay with this. What had he done again? I could not believe it. What else had he conspired with Ignis?

"This is why he couldn't tell her," Gladio rumbled with laughter. "Yeah," Prompto practically giggled. "Stop laughing at me," I slapped his bottom slightly. Prompto laughed even harder, cracking a joke to others for being harassed by a royal.

I felt Ignis's hands slide around me from behind. "Don't tease my future wife too much," he said to others. I squirmed around when he refused to let go. "What?" I asked once again, thinking I must have heard him wrong.

"I refuse to let you go ever again. So you could as well marry me. It's what he wanted too," he said while smiling. "Or what," I replied, now interested what he'd say next. "Or I will carry you to bed, and keep coaxing you, until you will beg for me to marry you," he smiled shamelessly. He had surely learned some things from Ardyn. 

Gladio winked exaggeratedly at me. "You just tell if you need any help," he said. "Ignis needing help coaxing me in bed or me needing help with his shit," I asked bluntly and he burst in laughter with Prompto.

"Let's just go home for now," I sighed and for once they agreed. I needed some time to get in terms with this all and with our losses.

Next days and weeks would surely be hard and still filled with tears. But we weren't alone. We had each other to rely on and a home to go to. A new life to start together, whatever it would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this fic, leave me a kudo or two, please. It'd make me really happy. Comments are welcome too!
> 
> Now I don't know what to do with this feeling of emptiness. This story had an incredible hold on me. Some parts just demanded themselves to be written.
> 
> Any wishes of new fics? Ideas? Criticism? Terribly rude mistakes noted?


End file.
